Chapter 305 Two Counter-Performances
To be honest, the crosstalk that is free of charge and does not sell tickets is the best.
In this foreign country, where there is no chance to listen to crosstalk live, the audience was even more enthusiastic. After Qi Long and Dong Qiang left the stage, everyone shouted in unison: "One more, one more!"
Amid their enthusiastic cheers, Qi Long and Dong Qiang came up again and responded to the audience's enthusiastic applause.
"Everyone is so enthusiastic. We can't let this enthusiasm down. Let's go on stage!"
"That's right!"
"We just had a program about AI curing diseases, which actually somewhat discredited AI. Now AI is booming and developing very well!"
"That's right!" Dongqiang nodded.
Qi Long continued, "Take Dongqiang's family for example. His father's company has developed a very powerful AI. It's really high-tech. Dongqiang called me and asked me to go to his house to see it!"
"That's true!" Dong Qiang said cooperatively.
"When I got to their house, Dongqiang showed me the AI and said that it was very powerful and could answer any question you asked it. I got angry when I heard that and started asking a question that I thought was very difficult!"
"what is the problem?"
"How long is a light year?" As soon as Qi Long asked this question, the international students immediately laughed.
This is a classic illiteracy test question on the Internet. A light-year is the distance light travels in a vacuum in one year. It is a unit of length. Many people mistake the word "year" for a unit of time, which is completely wrong.
"Your question is wrong. Light-year is a unit of length, not a unit of time!"
Qi Long pointed at Dong Qiang and said, "Look, everyone. He and this pretending to be educated said that at the time. Obviously, the AI was wrong. Light years, years, can that be a unit of length? It's obviously a unit of distance. Your AI is not good!"
Dong Qiang nodded casually: "If you think it's not possible, then it's not possible!"
"You didn't act like that at the time. You wanted me to ask other questions in order to prove your AI skills. You asked me to ask, where is your father?"
“That’s the question!”
Qi Long continued: "The AI answered and said that Dongqiang's father was fishing by the river! I was amused at the time, it was nonsense, my godfather was traveling abroad at the time! I said AI was wrong, Dongqiang was still not convinced, saying that AI sometimes makes mistakes, you should change the question."
"How to ask?"
"Where is Dongqiang's mother's husband?"
"where is it?"
"AI answered, Dongqiang's mother's husband is traveling abroad!"
Dongqiang was surprised: "It's right this time!"
“But Dongqiang’s father is fishing by the river!”
"I'll screw you"
The two bowed, and this time when everyone was still laughing, they shouted "One more segment". Dong Qiang paid attention to Qi Long. If Qi Long wanted to speak, he would continue to accompany him, but if Qi Long didn't want to, he would leave the stage.
Qi Long turned back to the microphone and was greeted with applause again: "This is the last segment, our rental time is about to end!"
"Yes, we can't rebel anymore!"
"Thank you all. Without the love of our audience, we would not be where we are today as crosstalk artists. Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang salute you all!"
After saying that, they both bowed together and received cheers again.
"In addition to thanking the audience for their love, crosstalk also needs to thank a group of people who have silently contributed behind the scenes!"
"Who is it?"
"The family members of the supporting actors!"
As soon as these words were spoken, there was laughter from the audience, and they immediately thought of what Qi Long had just said about Dong Qiang's father, the chef, in "The Kitchen".
Dong Qiang nodded: "That's something I have to thank you for!"
"You said that we crosstalk performers are making people laugh on stage, who can we blame? Besides ourselves and our families, that's all made up, it's not real!"
"I'm just kidding, just to make you laugh!"
"In fact, Dongqiang's father is not a chef who studied in Africa, and his company does not produce AI. What he said just now was just nonsense. My godfather is an entrepreneur and the boss of a company. He has thousands of people under him. This is true!"
"Correct!"
Qi Long said respectfully: "He is also a very open-minded boss. He only looks at the results and not the process!"
"Please tell me more details!"
"For example, if there is a document that you are asked to complete in a week, and if you finish it in one day, some bosses will continue to assign you work. Dongqiang's father will not do that. He will ask you to finish it in one day, and you can rest for the remaining six days, as long as you finish it."
Dong Qiang nodded: "Oh, this is a good boss!"
"Another thing is that he never guides professionals from outside the field."
"What is this?" Dong Qiang asked.
"For example, designers should all know that they are most afraid of encountering a client who knows nothing and is unreasonable. I tell you, give me a colorful black!"
"So is it colorful or black?"
"Right? You just don't understand, but you always find faults with others to show how powerful you are. His father doesn't give orders blindly. He leaves everything to you. He doesn't give orders. He knows how to use people well, and his subordinates are all very capable of execution!"
"Don't employ those you doubt, and don't doubt those you employ!"
Qi Long continued to talk to everyone in a chatty tone: "Let's just say that his parents don't have a son!"
"Huh?" After laughing, Dong Qiang grabbed Qi Long and said, "My parents don't have a son, so who am I? I'm a daughter!"
Qi Long explained: "No, what I mean is that your parents didn't have a son before they had you!"
"Oh, you explained it clearly!"
"You've been married for two years, but there's no sign of pregnancy. At that time, Dongqiang's father was in the critical period of starting a business. He was always on business trips all over the country and spent less time at home, so you didn't get pregnant. You were a little anxious, like a father, and you acted like a company leader!"
Dongqiang wondered, "What's the point of acting like a leader?"
Qi Long said: "It works!"
Then he put his hands behind his back, hunched his back slightly, frowned, and lowered his voice: "Wife, I don't care about giving birth to a child, just give me one!"
"Ah?" Dong Qiang was surprised and the audience laughed.
Qi Long continued: "Your mother is also anxious: (squeaking) You are not home every day, how can I give birth alone?"
"Yes!"
Qi Long continued to imitate Dong Qiang's father: "Don't make excuses for me. People say that you have a big butt and are good at giving birth. I don't doubt people, so I will leave this matter to you! I don't know how to give birth, so I won't guide the experts. You can do it. I only look at the results, not the process!"
The audience has already started to laugh, and all the foreshadowing has been used up.
Dong Qiang held his forehead with his hand: "Can you give birth to a child like this?"
"Look, you're not as good as your father. He was able to succeed in starting his own business. It was really useful. He was away on a business trip for more than a year and came back just in time for your birth!"
"My mom found a fisherman!"
Qi Long nodded: "Look, you know it too!"
"Screw you!" The two bowed three times and left the stage amid laughter.
Well, this crosstalk is still a serial drama, and it is connected to the previous encore!
There is really no way to reverse the situation this time, purely because of the time constraints of the venue. It is not a venue that belongs to us, so this is the only way.
If possible, Qi Long would also like to create a sensation among crosstalk fans with 25 reverse performances, just like his senior brother Guo Degang did!
I can only say that I will come again when I have the chance!
After the performance, everyone returned to the B&B. Qi Long directly occupied the living room and slept on the sofa. Except for Teacher Lu Zhong who occupied a small room alone, the other sisters slept in pairs in a room.
Dongqiang had to sleep in the stairwell, so Qilong, who was not picky, slept in the living room.
After rushing to the B&B, Qi Long saw the porter Dong Qiang busy for the first time in his life.
Lu Zhong has to measure his blood pressure before going to bed; Xu Fan needs Dongqiang to help her massage her waist because of her back pain; Wang Lin has to remind her to take medicine for her stomach problems, and Cai Ming has to exercise with him and teach him some fitness exercises suitable for the elderly.
There was hair blocking the drain in the bathroom and the hot water couldn't come out, or someone's suitcase had too many things in it and couldn't be closed, so I had to help.
Even if no one called him, he would take the initiative to help and perfectly performed the job of porter.
You also have to make your own vegetable salad.
In Qi Long's words, "I don't serve my mother as wholeheartedly as I do at home."
Of course, Qi Long would not stand idly by. He could do tasks like measuring blood pressure and preparing hot water, so he helped Dong Qiang do them. He also mixed a salad for Dong Qiang and prepared a midnight snack for himself.
Crosstalk performers cannot eat too much before going on stage. If the stomach is congested, the brain will feel sleepy, and it will be a big taboo if they cannot think well on stage.
So he also prepared two packs of instant noodles that he brought from China.
It is not convenient for Qi Long to make instant noodles. He likes to use a wok to stir-fry some scallion oil first, and fry the scallions until they change color and the aroma is fully evaporated.
Then use half of the scallion oil to fry the tomatoes. Cut the tomatoes in a cross shape and peel them. After frying them into small pieces, add water and boil them for a while. Then add the seasoning packet and lastly the instant noodles. When the noodles are almost falling apart, beat an egg on the noodles.
The egg will stay on the dough and after a while, it will become a perfect soft-boiled poached egg.
When all is done, pour the noodles into a bowl, add chopped green onions and raw garlic, and sizzle them with the remaining scallion oil that is heated in the wok on the side.
Oh, the aroma of raw onions, raw garlic, cooked onion oil and stewed tomatoes, combined with the chewy instant noodles, is so delicious.
Meng Ziyi, who originally did not plan to eat before going to bed, and Wang Lin, who had a bad stomach and could not be completely empty-stomach before going to bed, directly joined the noodle-eating team and praised the food.
In fact, they probably hadn't eaten noodles for a week, and instant noodles for even longer, so they felt the noodles were delicious. But chef Qi Long was still quite satisfied to see them eating so heartily.
"Wow, Qi Long, your wife will definitely be very happy to marry you in the future!" Wang Lin praised.
Qi Long was also proud: "Yes, yes, yes, I made a steamed fish last time, and she ate most of it and kept praising me!"
"Hahaha, Jiao'er, you've been CPUed!" Dong Qiang teased Qi Long, who had a happy face.
"Hmm?" Qi Long asked with a question mark face.
"Sister-in-law Qian praised Brother Qian for his delicious cooking every day. Later, she told me that such praise gave him motivation, so he always cooked. Your Wanyi should be the same!"
Qi Long glared: "What does that have to do with you? I am happy. In the future, your wife will follow you and eat grass every day!"
Dongqiang munched on his vegetable salad nonchalantly: "It's okay, my wife and I will come to your house to eat the meal you cook!"
"Then Brother Long will cook with heavy oil and salt every day!" Meng Ziyi suggested: "Brother Qiang won't go."
Dongqiang showed his surprised expression on the crosstalk stage: "Only my wife is going?"
"Okay, I don't care!" Qi Long waved his hand.
“I care”
Qi Long spread his hands: "What's wrong with fresh air coming into my house every day?"
"Hahahahahaha!" Everyone at the table burst into laughter.
What this means is that Dongqiang can’t find a wife!
After eating and drinking, Qi Long asked everyone to go to bed early as he had a bad feeling.
Yan Min, treat everyone fairly.
Today, in accordance with Qi Long's plan, Dongqiang was given a surprise attack with a crosstalk show in the evening.
Next, Qi Long felt like he was going to be tricked.
His feeling was right. The next day, everyone went for a trip to the suburbs of London. After arriving at the destination, the director team suddenly asked everyone not to get off the car together, but to get off separately. The first person to be asked to get off was Qi Long.
"Qi Long, today's challenge mission has begun. If you succeed, the program team will pay for your lunch. If you fail, you will be punished and have to solve your own lunch."
Qi Long nodded: "I see, what challenge!"
"Please guess whether the next person will land with his left foot or right foot when he gets off the bus. If everyone guesses correctly, you win."
"Hahahahahaha" Qi Long laughed speechlessly: "How can this be successful? Ah."
This is basically a game of pure luck, because he doesn't know who will be the next one to come down, and he can't know it through habit, so he can only step on it.
"I wanted to choose my left foot, but my luck was bad, so I chose my right foot, but I finally decided to choose my right foot and he wouldn't land on his right foot, so I wanted to choose my left foot, but..."
"Where are you putting this doll?" Yan Min asked with a smile.
Qi Long finally pointed with his eyes closed, and it turned out to be his right foot, so he chose his left foot instead.
Then he was called to sit aside and wait. The director team announced that the next person could come out, but they didn't specify who it would be, just the next person.
Dongqiang immediately exposed his body and habitually put his right foot down.
"Ouch!" Qi Long fell off the chair. Dirty Qi Long is online.
Seeing Qi Long's abnormal behavior, Dong Qiang immediately retracted his foot and looked around.
Yan Min turned around and said, "This is just the first time, it won't happen again!"
"I really didn't sit still, I really didn't sit still!" Qi Long sat back down, put his left foot on his right leg and crossed his legs.
Dongqiang understood it immediately.
They have been taught to behave themselves since childhood. Unless they are alone or with very familiar friends, they will not cross their legs, let alone when recording a show.
So Dongqiang immediately understood what his partner meant, stepped off the van with his left foot and walked down.
Qi Long raised his arms to celebrate. Fortunately it was Dong Qiang. If it was any other member of the tour group, they would have lost!
Dongqiang was not as observant as Qi Long, but what he knew was that there were no left-handed people in the travel group.
When getting off the car, the sisters are not like Dongqiang. They are usually more careful and will hold the car door with their right hand. If they hold the car door with their right hand, they will get off with their left foot first, otherwise they will turn the wrong way.
After analysis, Dongqiang chose his left foot, and it was Teacher Lu Zhong who came down and succeeded again.
Teacher Lu Zhong chose his right foot. When Qi Long and Dong Qiang both expressed disappointment, Teacher Wang Lin got off the car with his right foot.
There were only three left, and just when everyone saw the dawn of victory, Meng Ziyi, who was sitting next to the side door of the van, looked at their expressions and guessed for a long time, and finally jumped down with both feet at the same time.
The entire production crew burst into laughter, and the members of the travel group who knew the rules also laughed out loud helplessly.
How can I guess this? There is only the left foot and the right foot, but the person has both feet on the ground
"Challenge failed!"
"This doesn't count, this doesn't count!" Qi Long and Dong Qiang stood up together as if a timer spring was pressed on their buttocks. Dong Qiang waved his hands and Qi Long shouted, "No, it doesn't count!"
(End of this chapter)
