Chapter 310: The predecessor of the hamburger is the roujiamo
After the victory was announced, the junior brothers started a competition to see who was more miserable than them. Except for Shaobing who was defeated in a head-on duel and Zhu Hecong who killed Qi Long and had a good gaming experience, the others were all more miserable than each other.
Zhang Helun and Yue Yunpeng, who paid money to enter the safe room but were eventually killed; Zhou Jiuliang, who found the key evidence and bumped into Dongqiang's face; Cao Heyang, who was taken down without any resistance in the room; Guo Qilin, who was wrongly eliminated by a good guy; and Luan Yunping, who was killed by Qi Long and Dongqiang, all suffered!
Zhang Helun, with his face covered in marker marks, said: "Who can be as miserable as me? I am the most unlucky one in prison, and I lose the most times!"
“Hahahahahaha,” Qi Long laughed and added, “Not only are you in such a miserable state, you also defeated the vice president!”
Zhang Helun hurried over and leaned on Luan Yunping's shoulder: "Brother Luan won't mind, right?"
"No, I care!"
"It's over, you have no commercial performances this month!"
Luan Yunping waved his hands: "No, no, no, Lun has been working hard recently, let him have a rest!"
"No"
After some laughter, the director announced that the two monster winners could designate their performance partners.
In the first few episodes, Qi Long and Dong Qiang did not partner with each other. Dong Qiang looked at Qi Long and suggested, "Jiao Er, how about we play one?"
Qi Long nodded: "Okay, then give me a treat, let's have our partner Bing Si come."
"He Lun has suffered such a miserable state, I think we should let Zhu Hecong, the supporting actor who received a lot of votes in the last issue, be in the same group with him!" Dong Qiang continued to assign.
Zhang Helun was still full of anticipation when he heard the previous words. When the name "Zhu Hecong" came out, Zhang Helun sat down on the ground: "Uncle, you really want me to die."
"It's a tribulation, get rid of bad luck!"
"Ha ha ha ha."
Guo Qilin and Zhou Jiuliang were in one group, Yue Yunpeng and Luan Yunping were in another group. Except for Zhang Helun, the grouping was completed in a way that everyone was satisfied with.
Everyone clapped their hands to end the recording of the reality show and went on to do their own work.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang were already a bullying enough pair, so they directly chose the opening position and were the first to perform, leaving Yue Yunpeng, who had more performance experience and could liven up the atmosphere, to take over from them.
The show the two brothers brought was a crosstalk show that used "I Want to Start a Business" as a prelude, called "Chinese Cuisine Spreads Around the World"!
As soon as he came on stage, Qi Long made a shocking statement.
"Thank you all for coming to my last crosstalk performance. There are so many audience members sitting in the last show."
Qi Long was still talking cheerfully, and Dong Qiang's face, which was originally smiling at the audience, suddenly collapsed: "Wait a minute, Teacher Qi, what did you say?"
"This is my last crosstalk performance!"
"today?"
"After this performance, I will never do crosstalk again in my life!"
The audience knew it was fake, but some people still interrupted and shouted: No, don’t go?
Dong Qiang was shocked and asked, "Why don't you perform crosstalk anymore?"
"I can't make a lot of money from crosstalk, so I plan to start my own business and become a boss!"
At this point, Qi Long began to explain various bizarre entrepreneurial projects, which were different from those in the previous "I Want to Start a Business".
In fact, this is also the crosstalk style of Qi Long and Dong Qiang. Even if it is the same crosstalk, they will try their best to change the content that can be changed, so that people who have heard the previous version can still find new ideas when listening to this version.
Every time I say “I want to start a business”, I always come up with some weird ideas.
This time was no exception, Qi Long was the first to come up with an idea.
They plan to lay a milk pipeline in Europe, which will pass directly through the Arctic, use Arctic ice for ultra-low temperature freezing and sterilization, and then connect the pipeline to every household in China, so that everyone can drink milk by turning on the tap.
"I've already thought of a name for it, it's called Ou Nai Dong Shu. Oh, just imagine, by then, everyone can just turn on the tap when they want to drink milk, and the milkman won't have to work hard."
"Stop daydreaming. Your idea is unrealistic. Let's not talk about whether the milk you transport through the pipeline is smelly or not, and let's not talk about whether the country will allow you to build the pipeline. Just to say, how much does such a long pipeline cost? Do you have that much money?"
Qi Long thought about it and nodded: "Yes, if I had so much money, why would I start a business?"
"By the way, you can try something with less initial investment!"
"Yes, yes, yes, let's do the smaller one," Qi Long pretended to think, then widened his eyes and said, "Let's drain the water from the Bohai Sea and replace it with clean water to raise freshwater fish."
When the audience heard Qi Long say that the budget didn't need that much, they thought it would be reduced from the highest to the lowest all at once. Unexpectedly, they came up with an even more unrealistic one, and they laughed out loud immediately.
"That's a lot of investment!" Dong Qiang shouted, "And aren't you crazy? Why don't you just raise marine fish?"
“Still too expensive?”
"too expensive!"
"Then let's build an amusement park with free tickets and rides!"
"Building an amusement park is expensive, and you're offering it for free. Are you going to make a profit at a loss?"
"We have a rule in our amusement park that you can't bring food or drinks into the park!"
"Oh, you make money from the expensive drinks and food in there?" Dongqiang asked.
Qi Long said "Hmm~" to refute: "Snacks and drinks in the amusement park are also free!"
"How about we perform crosstalk?" Dongqiang pulled him back.
The audience burst into laughter instantly.
Qi Long: "What's wrong?"
"The amusement park has free tickets, free rides, free food and drinks, and you're bankrupt in just a few days?"
"You see, you don't understand. I use free things to attract customers. As the old saying goes, free things are the most expensive. Free things are secretly marked with prices!" Qi Long said seriously.
Dong Qiang: "Then I want to listen to it!"
"Although our snacks are free, they are very spicy and salty. After eating them, you just want to drink water!"
"Aren't the drinks free too? I can drink as much as I want!"
Qi Long continued: "We don't sell water for drinks. We only provide free milk tea with a lot of sugar and bits and pieces added in. It tastes like eight-treasure porridge. The more you drink, the thirstier you get. The thirstier you get, the more you drink. What do you want to do after drinking too much?"
Dong Qiang answered uncertainly: "Toilet?"
Qi Long slammed the table and said, "That's right, the park toilet costs five thousand yuan per use!"
The audience burst into laughter instantly. Qi Long put his hands on his hips, looking very proud amid everyone's laughter, and shook his head from side to side, just like the top scholar in the opera who shakes his head to express happiness.
"How is it?" Qi Long looked up proudly.
Dong Qiang shook his head: "Not good, you will be reported in one day. Five thousand for the toilet? I bought one thousand pairs of pants, but I would pee in my pants pocket and I won't go. Only a fool would spend this money."
“Is this not reliable?”
"You are too unreliable. You should just tell crosstalk honestly!"
"No, no, no, I have another idea. I plan to open an escape room store!" Qi Long came up with another idea.
Dongqiang heard this and said: "This is a slightly lower investment. What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to open a couples' line. For the women, they have to decrypt the secret room, which will take about three to five hours!"
"What about the men's side?"
"Go straight to the Internet cafe. We own the Internet cafe, too!"
There was another round of explosive laughter, and this time most of the people who laughed were male compatriots, who immediately thought that this idea was amazing.
"Your story will be exposed in a couple of days, and then the relationship between the couple will break up, and the store will close down."
Qi Long: "Look, I just want to start a business, but you keep saying that I can't do this or that, and you just keep discouraging me."
Dong Qiang advises others to only make money within the scope of their cognition.
Qi Long thought about it. He likes to eat. Recently, when he went abroad, he found that many foreigners like to eat hamburgers. "I know about hamburgers. They are a variation of Chinese Roujiamo. Let's sell the authentic ones and let foreigners taste the authentic Roujiamo."
"How come the hamburger has become a variation of the Roujiamo?"
Dongqiang deliberately emphasized that this was to plant seeds in the audience's minds, making them curious about why Roujiamo is the prototype of the hamburger and the hamburger is a variant of Roujiamo.
“It’s a long story!”
"It's okay, tell me about it!"
Qi Long cleared his throat and began to speak: [In ancient times, the universe was in chaos, and Pangu created the world.]
Dong Qiang stopped him and said, "You want to start from when Pangu created the world? Isn't that long? I just want to know how Roujiamo is the prototype of hamburger, and how hamburger is a variant of Roujiamo!"
Qi Long exclaimed, "Ouch!" "We have to start the story from the origin of Roujiamo. Speaking of the origin of Roujiamo, we have to talk about a little historical figure!"
"A small person?" Dong Qiang was puzzled.
"This man's name is Liu Bang."
The audience laughed, and Dong Qiang stopped them: "Liu Bang, the first emperor of the Han Dynasty, how could he be a small figure?"
"You know? Did you know that Liu Bang attended a banquet?"
"The Hongmen Banquet!"
"Yes, at that time, Xiang Yu's subordinates asked Xiang Yu to kill Liu Bang. At that time, Liu Bang brought a great bodyguard warrior, Fan Kuai. Xiang Yu was impressed by the heroism of this warrior and gave him pig shoulder, which is a pig leg. But Fan Kuai didn't have a bowl, so how could he eat the pig leg? He used his shield as a bowl and cut the meat with a sword to eat!"
"What does this have to do with Roujiamo?"
"Look, you're anxious again," Qi Long criticized Dong Qiang and continued, "The Duke of Pei escaped from the Hongmen Banquet and later defeated Xiang Yu and established the Han Dynasty. The swords and spears were put into storage, and the horses were released to the southern mountains. Peace has come. Fan Kuai is thinking of that one!"
"Pig shoulder?"
"Yes, so he looked for people everywhere to prepare the ingredients to make this taste. However, when conditions improved, he no longer used the shield as a large plate. He used a large pancake instead, the pot cake. Later, the pot cake became inconvenient!"
"What's inconvenient?"
"Always perm the back of Fan Kuai's head!"
All the nonsense was met with chuckles.
"Ah? What does eating a pot cake have to do with burning the back of your head?"
Qi Long demonstrated, opening the folding fan and holding it in his hand to make a pot cake: "There is meat on the pot cake, the juice from the meat is flowing down and onto my wrist."
As he spoke, he put his wrist in front of his mouth and sucked the soup, and then put the fan that was like a "guokui" on the back of his head.
During this demonstration, the chuckles turned into loud laughter, mainly because when Qi Long put the fan on, he acted as if he was scalded, and with his excellent sense of tact, he tickled everyone's funny bone.
The story continues, Fan Kuai felt that the juice would always leak out when he put the meat on the pot cake, so he thought of a way to put the meat inside the cake so that the juice would not leak out.
At that time, the capital of the Han Dynasty was Chang'an, so you had to sell it in Chang'an dialect, so roujiabing was called roujiamo.
Dong Qiang was skeptical: "Is this the history of Roujiamo?"
"Yes!"
"Then why is the hamburger a variant again?"
Qi Long praised: "Of course not. During the Han Dynasty, China was so strong that people called it the Strong Han. At that time, the Han people were very powerful. If a friend comes from afar, he will be punished even if he is far away!"
"Whoever offends the mighty Han will be punished no matter how far away he is."
"What about friends coming from afar?"
“What a joy!”
"I remembered it wrongly. I don't know much about this culture. It's said that the Han Dynasty was strong at that time, and Zhang Qian took Roujiamo with him when he went on a diplomatic mission to the Western Regions. He brought it to foreign countries."
Dong Qiang was shocked: "Wouldn't it all stink?"
"Take the recipe with you, and when you get there, use the ingredients there to make it. When it's done, the king there will eat it and praise it highly!"
Dong Qiang asked: "How do you evaluate it?"
Qi Long spoke Chinese with a foreign accent: "This Han Dynasty thing is great, it's delicious, and it has a very good feature!"
"What characteristics?"
“The more you eat, the fuller you feel!”
Dong Qiang pushed him: "Nonsense, the more you eat, the fuller you will be!"
"laxative!"
Dong Qiang pointed at Qi Long and commented: "This foreigner is quite good at arguing!"
"The food from the Han Dynasty makes us happier. Should we give it a better name?"
"what?"
"Hamburger!"
As soon as these words were spoken, the doubts that had been planted in the audience's minds were "answered" here, and everyone immediately smiled and applauded, and some shouted "ohhh".
"Oh, that's how hamburgers come about?"
"What do you think? My research on Roujiamo is very thorough and I understand it very well, so I can work in this industry and let foreigners eat authentic Roujiamo!" Qi Long was proud.
Dongqiang spoke again: "No, no, foreigners' hamburger patties are fried or deep-fried!"
Qi Long explained to him: "We Chinese working people are the most hardworking people in the world, but foreigners are not. Look at how many homeless people there are among foreigners. We have seen quite a few when we went out this time!"
"That's true"
"It takes so much time to stew meat, so they fried it and pan-fried it to shorten the time."
"Oh, then how did this cake become bread?" Dongqiang continued to ask.
Qi Long continued, "Foreigners don't care what they call laziness, they call it relaxation. They put the dough aside to let it rise, and then they run to do other things. When they come back, the dough is too big and too soft, so they can only use bread to sandwich it."
“That burger has sauce in it.”
"He was too lazy to stew the meat, so the meat had no flavor and could only be spread with sauce!"
Dong Qiang was surprised: "You know what, he's really good at fooling people with his words!"
"When the time comes, I'll go to the Free Country to set up a stall, and you can come with me!"
Dongqiang turned around and waved his hands: "I can't go, my English is not good enough!"
Qi Long said he would just say: Ten thousand dollars (one US dollar) is enough. If the foreigner holds up one finger, you say ten thousand dollars, and if he holds up two fingers, it's ten thousand ten thousand dollars.
Dongqiang asked for three, and Qilong said three Wan and Daolai; four, it would be four Wan plus Daolai.
At this time, Dongqiang frowned and asked: "What if a foreigner comes and says he wants ten roujiamo, four cai bao, two bowls of soup and four bottles of drinks? What should I say?"
Qi Long said indifferently: "If you encounter something you really don't understand, or if you buy too much, just use the phrases you are best at in crosstalk!"
"what?"
"Go to hell!"
"I'll go to you!"
At this point, the crosstalk ended, and the two bowed and left the stage.
You can just read it during the day. The author has been working in the afternoon recently and comes back late at night. He is still very energetic when he comes back. This is a weird schedule. Don’t study and don’t stay up late!
(End of this chapter)
