Chapter 239 Homemade Side Dishes
After getting off the stage, Qi Long and Dong Qiang went straight to the restaurant under the guidance of their assistant Xiao Chi.
That was a buffet restaurant prepared for artistes and athletes. Before going on stage, they just came here to eat a few dumplings.
It is a habit not to eat too much before going on stage, because food will make your blood flow to the stomach, which will reduce the oxygen supply to the brain and make you sleepy.
Although Qi Long has a software to stimulate his brain, he still did not break the rule and continued to eat less when he went on stage, setting an example for other crosstalk actors.
"Wow, I only asked Xiao Chi to get the xiaolongbao before, but I didn't expect there would be so many kinds of breakfast!" Qi Long exclaimed as he looked at the self-service area.
The breakfast stalls have all the common breakfast items, so many that you can write a paraphrase about them. The calorie-controlled items like vegetarian boxes, steamed buns, and pancakes have been swept away, and there is no protein left like boiled eggs.
But there are still a lot of greasy foods such as fried dough sticks and fried cakes left.
Obviously, the artists were all forced by their agents to manage their body shapes. Qi Long, who had a poor stomach and could not gain weight by eating dry food, went to choose dishes happily. Dong Qiang frowned and looked around. Finally, he took out an instant chicken breast from his bag, asked the staff who were busy preparing lunch for some lettuce, and started to eat it.
Qi Long was eating fried dough sticks and tofu pudding with great relish. The fried dough sticks were soaked in the tofu pudding and the salty sauce was absorbed into the fried dough sticks. Every bite was juicy and it was so delicious.
At this time, he noticed that a staff member holding a camera walked up to them, with another staff member behind him.
"Hello, Mr. Qi. Excuse me for a minute. We are the team responsible for filming the restaurant live broadcast. We saw you and wanted to interview you!"
After Qi Long nodded, the other party asked, "How does it taste?"
"It's absolutely amazing. I almost swore after taking a bite, it's that delicious!" Qi Long commented with a smile.
According to the rules, you are not allowed to talk while eating and you are not allowed to make strange noises while eating. However, when recording a variety show, in order to express that the food is delicious, everyone will say "wow", "umm", "oh" to praise.
At that time, Qi Long summarized it on the show that the most delicious thing when you put it in your mouth is definitely not the exclamation "Wow", but "Oh my God".
It’s so delicious that you swear. That’s the highest level.
So when he said that, it meant it was really delicious!
As a national variety show, the staff also watched it. After laughing, they looked at the oil-sprinkled chili and vinegar bottles on the table in confusion: "We noticed that you have both chili and vinegar, but you didn't add them to the tofu pudding. Why?"
Qi Long smiled and said, "I have a habit of eating noodles and food with soup."
He likes to eat the food without adding anything else and enjoy the original flavor of the food.
Then scoop a few spoonfuls and add only a little bit of chili to the soup in the spoon so that only the taste of chili will be tasted.
If you have eaten enough chili peppers, you can pour vinegar into the bowl and enjoy the sour and refreshing taste of the vinegar.
Finally, add the chili pepper, stir well, and taste the complex flavor of chili pepper and vinegar.
"In this way, I can taste four flavors in one kind of food. If the soy sauce and garlic in the dumplings are also counted, I can taste more layers of flavor." Qi Long commented.
Originally, there were not many people in the restaurant’s live broadcast room, but because of the appearance of Qi Long and Dong Qiang, some people started watching.
After hearing Qi Long's explanation, everyone exclaimed that they had learned something. Isn't this really a good way to eat? He can taste several different flavors from one food. It's really enjoyable!
"As expected of a crosstalk artist, he knows how to eat!" the staff commented while looking at the comments.
Qi Long pointed at Dong Qiang who was chewing lettuce beside him and said, "No, no, no, there's someone here who can't eat!"
The camera also shifted to Dongqiang and began to interview Dongqiang.
Dongqiang sighed and said that many high-quality foods with low calories and high protein had been taken away, and all the vegetarian buns and dumplings were gone.
As for the pancakes, the whole grain batter was gone, leaving only the thin crisps that few people wanted and a lot of sweet noodle sauce. So he could only eat the chicken breast he brought with him!
"Why don't you have some mung bean smoothie?" Qi Long asked after taking two more bites and swallowing the food.
Dongqiang looked at him: "That thing is full of sugar, how many calories does it have?"
"No, it's already a smoothie, how can it have any calories?" Qi Long shouted, pretending to be confused.
Dongqiang: "Oh, it has no calories if it's been chilled?"
"Of course not. If you pour the smoothie into a bowl and stir it to the left with chopsticks, so that the smoothie rotates to the left, then it is left-handed. You will become extremely thin if you drink it!"
"I'll go to hell!" Dong pushed him.
The audience watching the live broadcast burst into laughter. These two people can really perform crosstalk anytime and anywhere.
After talking nonsense for a while, Qi Long went to eat again. The staff asked questions in the barrage, and someone asked how to make healthy meals at home.
Hearing this question, Dongqiang gave a serious introduction. He said that fresh vegetables, whole grains, eggs, lean meat and other things can be cooked a week in advance and kept in the refrigerator. If you don’t have time to cook meat, you can also directly buy ready-made instant chicken breast. He didn’t recommend any specific brand because he didn’t pay him any advertising fees.
Qi Long came up again: "Why not add some soy sauce or sesame oil?"
"Why put that stuff in there? Vinegar is fine, it's low in calories!"
Qi Long was surprised: "You and your senior brother were taught by the same master? Your senior brother's homemade side dishes are half as delicious without soy sauce, and without sesame oil, he can't cook. Even nails have to be put in soy sauce and sesame oil!"
This is about Yu Qian, who often recommends his homemade side dishes on his radio show, but netizens find that each one is more unpalatable than the last after trying them.
Qi Long also imitated: "I also have a homemade side dish. I have blue cheese at home, so I cut two slices, and two slices of canned herring, and two pieces of stinky amaranth stems, and put one piece in the pan to stir-fry, and when it's almost done, pour the green soup from the stinky tofu into it, gulp, gulp.
Add two more pieces of stinky tofu, and finally a large bag of soy milk, sesame oil, and soy sauce. Eat it, and you won’t say a word! ”
“You can’t make a sound, right?” Dong Qiang pushed him: “My senior brother is not that outrageous, hahahaha, the dishes he makes are all made of real ingredients, such as leftover cucumbers and bitter gourds at home, and wild vegetables picked up outside. They’re not for the sake of taste, but for the sake of being easy and convenient!”
Qi Long shook his head: "There is another characteristic."
"what?"
“Easy and convenient!”
"Hahahaha, you're eating, and you're still talking about this!?"
"Don't follow his lead, he's insulting people. 丫 is an abbreviation, meaning you were born by a girl. What does that mean? No father, no father means no one disciplines you. You are uneducated. The abbreviation is 丫! Of course, it has become a catchphrase for many old people in the capital now!"
Dongqiang studied with him in the imperial capital, so he has some understanding of the imperial capital dialect.
"There is another one that sounds innocuous, but the meaning is very harsh when translated. It means that you will not be able to eat four dishes in your life. It sounds like this person cannot make money and cannot put four dishes on the table. In fact, the four dishes are full moon dishes, wedding dishes, farewell dishes and tributes. You can figure it out yourself!"
These insults may seem harmless, but if you think about it carefully, they are saying that no one raised you when you were born, you will be single all your life, and no one will bury you or hold a memorial ceremony for you when you die.
How hateful it is. So the words passed down by the ancestors of the Chinese people to insult others are also very powerful.
Recently, there has been a rumor on the Internet that a foreigner picked a fight with a Chinese person, and ended up breaking down the Chinese people with just two sentences.
The other party started to pick a fight with the Chinese student. The student looked at her dress and the dark green hat she was wearing and immediately said, "Are you the green toad born from your mother and some homeless guy?"
In China, this statement is not very offensive. If you encounter someone saying this to you on the Internet, you will not have any emotional fluctuations.
As a result, the foreigner who was causing trouble started crying and dragged the foreign student to their home to check the household registration to prove that she was indeed his parents' biological child.
It was so funny when I saw it, but "The Art of Dirty Words" definitely cannot be brought to the crosstalk stage. If you are not careful, it will be reported. So Qi Long reluctantly abandoned the script in his mind and scattered it in other crosstalks!
(End of this chapter)
