The title "Shark Dawei" is not groundless, nor is it a fabricated slander.
Although "Nebula Commando" was only released today, it had previously conducted internal testing and released promotional materials.
Shark Dawei, as a well-known connoisseur of terrible games in the gaming circle and a widely recognized cyber-Goujian by players, has keenly sensed the "terrible game" aroma.
Now is the time for him to prove his vision!
Shark Dawei, whose real name is Sha Wei, downloaded the game while complaining: "This game actually sells for 276 yuan!"
"'King of War,' with tons of new gameplay, only sells for 168 yuan."
"It better be worth the price!"
The viewers, however, could understand:
"Can you compare them? How many months did 'King of War' take to make? This game was made by 1,000 people over 8 years, with a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars. If it doesn't sell for a high price, it will be difficult to recoup the investment in this lifetime."
"Don't even mention the cost. Which game on the New Force Game Station is cheap?"
"Dream Building's production capacity exploded, directly cutting the cost to the ankles, which is a rather outrageous situation."
...
The viewers made perfect sense, but Shark Dawei said, 'I'm not listening, I'm not listening!':
"How much money the manufacturer spends on making the game is none of my business."
"Did I ask them to spend so much money?"
"Being incompetent is not a reason to pass the cost on to the players."
"I only care if the game is fun or not. Nothing else concerns me."
Shark Dawei has played quite a few games. When necessary, he can draw on a wide range of knowledge to demonstrate his point of view from both positive and negative perspectives. Whether he says nice things or nasty things depends entirely on his mood.
Right now, he clearly doesn't have a good impression of the game "Nebula Commando."
After rambling for a while, the game finally finished downloading.
Shark Dawei breathed a long sigh of relief, "Finally! Let's get started!"
He launched the game.
A window popped up—
[This game requires the support of the New Force Game Station server]
"Are you sick? Didn't I buy the game on Vapour? You've already put the game on PC, and you still want me to bind my console account?"
Shark Dawei was very unhappy.
But the livestream had to continue, so he had to register a console account on the spot.
After some effort, he bound his account, and the game finally launched.
—
In a dark universe dotted with sparse stars, an orange-red spaceship slowly approached the camera from afar.
Just seeing this spaceship, Shark Dawei almost couldn't hold back.
The spaceship's design was somewhat bizarre—the front was designed like a ram, with spikes and a door-like protruding structure. This door-like, meaningless structure was awkwardly embedded on the smooth-lined, but overall square-shaped, main cabin of the ship.
The transverse wings on both sides of the ship's main body and the vertical tail wings at the end formed a standard cross shape.
The camera deliberately moved back to show the cross.
"Completely useless [ram], impossible to land [tail wings], a [main cabin] that is both square and streamlined..."
When the camera switched to the inside of the ship, Shark Dawei couldn't help but complain, "Was this spaceship crossbred?"
The next shot was a place similar to the ship's command cabin.
A typical but not-so-typical black woman walked back and forth in front of the camera.
It's "typical" because:
She was the kind of black woman commonly seen on the streets of America, with dark skin, dreadlocks, and a backwards baseball cap.
It's not typical because...
Her face was very strangely ugly.
Individually, her features were ordinary, but when put together, they just didn't look harmonious.
Her hat also had two meaningless things on top, one high and one low. It was unknown whether they were electronic devices or just decorations.
But this time, Shark Dawei didn't have time to complain.
Because just as the black woman sat down, the cabin door behind her opened, and three new characters entered together—
A yellow propane tank robot that had become a spirit, a green scaly alien wearing a bloated yellow top, and a burly green alien with horns on his chin, spikes on his back, and a red head.
"What kind of demons and monsters are these..."
Although he had seen these characters in the promotional materials, Shark Dawei still felt a strong visual impact when he saw them moving and talking in front of him.
In the spirit of professionalism, he continued to watch.
But there was no new content after that.
These people just swayed back and forth in front of the camera, talking to a star on the ship's screen, one sentence after another, endlessly.
After chatting for more than three minutes, this opening CG finally finished playing.
Shark Dawei breathed a long sigh of relief.
The viewers were full of question marks:
"What did these people talk about? Why didn't I understand?"
"A bunch of nonsense, messy."
"Shouldn't the opening CG have some exciting scenes, introduce the world view, or simply show combat scenes? What's the point of just chatting like this??"
...
This opening CG, where a few strange people chatted for three minutes, made the viewers lose their minds.
Fortunately, the scene changed, and a large string of system prompts for [Unlocking the Interstellar Star Chart] popped up on the side of the screen.
The chapter title also appeared—
—
Week 1
Season 0 | Freelancer
—
"Alright, alright, let's start fighting quickly," Shark Dawei urged.
But to everyone's surprise, after the chapter title appeared, the spaceship changed to a purple glowing background and once again approached the camera from afar.
"?" An ominous premonition arose in Shark Dawei's heart, "No way..."
The answer was yes.
The camera cut, and once again came to the inside of the spaceship.
These ugly and strange people...
Started chatting again!
It was still the same meaningless drivel as before.
“I really want to…” Shark Dawei instantly wanted a refund.
During this conversation, the popularity of the live stream rapidly declined—it was too boring, and passing viewers left one after another.
After another two and a half minutes of awkward chatting, the broadcast finally ended.
“Okay, okay, after so much nonsense, can we finally get to the plot?” Shark Dawei rubbed his face with both hands, trying to shake off his sleepiness.
It was already late at night, and the game started with a full five minutes of inexplicable awkward chatting, making it hard not to be sleepy.
“So, who are we fighting? Space pirates or the United Government?”
He was ready to go on a killing spree.
But as the game camera switched, a high-definition close-up of a black woman holding a sniper rifle appeared on the screen!
After all, it was a groundbreaking masterpiece from the New Force Game Station. The character modeling was incredibly precise, especially the static display, which was exceptionally clear and smooth.
She blinked, breathed, and swayed her body, all details clearly visible.
“Whoa!” Shark Dawei leaned back abruptly.
“You son of a…!”
It took him several seconds to recover from this visual shock, and he tried to ignore this super conspicuous black woman, who occupied two-thirds of the screen, to study the game's UI—
[Play]
[Mission Board]
[Freelancer]
[Stellar Chart]
[Settings]
[Help]
“I get it, Freelancer is the selectable character, right? Hurry up and give me a new poster girl.”
As soon as he said this, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said with a sigh, “Even using the term 'poster girl' to describe this black woman, I feel like I'm defiling the word.”
“It's not that I have a prejudice against black people, there are handsome and good-looking black people out there.”
“Why did they have to pick such an ugly one?”
“It's so ugly it's an eyesore!”
He couldn't wait to click on [Freelancer] to change the character.
Then he saw:
A gas canister that had come to life, a cylindrical robot with no sense of design.
A cyan lipstick-wearing armored woman with only half of her face showing.
A red-headed, bare-chested, brain-damaged perverted alien.
An afro-wearing, red-sunglasses-wearing, totally uncool black aunt in red.
A nesting doll completely wrapped in ugly armor.
A purple-haired, blue-faced, pointy-eared, shoehorn-faced alien.
An old grandmother with silver hair and a face full of wrinkles.
A super fat person wearing a blue down jacket, whose gender was indistinguishable.
An alien with a mushroom umbrella-like braincase that triggered trypophobia.
…
One freak after another, making Shark Dawei's chin tremble.
The viewers also suffered a strong aesthetic shock:
“Oh my god! What kind of freak all-stars are these?!”
“Insane! Insane among the insane!”
“I feel like my eyes have been raped! You owe me!”
“What sins did I commit in my past life to deserve this punishment?”
“If I am guilty, please let the law punish me, don't let me see such terrifying images!”
…
The popularity of the live stream plummeted.
No one likes to watch such ugly things!
Shark Dawei took several deep breaths to force himself to grip the mouse and select a character that looked barely normal.
Then he discovered that the game actually marked the character's gender.
The gender of the person he selected was—
[Non-Binary Gender].
After a few seconds of silence, Shark Dawei spat out a curse word:
“Fuck.”
But what's done is done, it didn't matter anymore.
He randomly selected a confrontation mode and matched into a game to experience the gameplay.
After only a few minutes, he discovered that the game's gameplay was very familiar—
Ten people were divided into red and blue teams, fighting five-on-five on a map. In addition to gun attacks, they could also release their own special skills…
This sense of déjà vu was too strong!
The viewers also instantly became noisy:
“Isn't this just [Dragon Palace Treasure]??!”
“It's [Dragon Palace Treasure] with the [Paperization], [Ultimate Move], and [Wall Breaking] mechanics removed!”
“Can you even plagiarize properly? Do you think that deleting the ultimate move and only letting the characters use small skills is gameplay innovation?!”
“Hahahaha, I'm dying of laughter! This is the brand new gameplay that 1,000 people spent 8 years and 300 million dollars to make?!”
“My evaluation is: not as good as a hair on [Frost Snow Project]'s head!”
“What 300 million dollars, they said 300 million dollars was just the initial cost, it's long since exceeded that!”
“As expected of a big company, they really have money.”
…
Shark Dawei couldn't hold back either: “Did this game really take 8 years to make???”
“This is basically a blatant reskin of [Frost Snow Project]!!!”
“You might as well give the 300 million dollars to Xu Meng, and Xu Meng could make it for you in a month!”
The characters were ridiculously ugly, making people annoyed just by looking at them.
The gameplay was also very boring, far less exciting and interesting than [Dragon Palace Treasure].
Fewer and fewer viewers were in the live stream.
Either they ran off to post, spreading the word that “[Nebula Commando] plagiarized [Frost Snow Project],” or they went to watch the VR version or Infinite Firepower mode of [Dragon Palace Treasure].
Anyway, they didn't want to watch this boring game anymore.
In the end, Shark Dawei couldn't play anymore either.
He stopped thinking about whether there was enough material to make a video and quickly uninstalled the game.
“Garbage game, get out of my computer!!!”
After uninstalling, he didn't forget to post a message on pilipili—
«A warning to all players who purchased [Nebula Commando]:
Get a refund now, while you still can!!!»
Seeking monthly tickets at the end of the month!
