Chapter 92: Fraud Company
Through a simple chat, Qi Long discovered that Sha Yi was a person with a bit of an honest character. He was sincere and believed whatever he said.
Qi Long just joked that there was tea prepared by the hospital, which could be drunk before the physical examination. He actually believed it and immediately stood up and looked inside. He saw a row of beakers filled with orange-yellow liquid, most of which were darker in color.
It took him half a second to realize that it was for a urine test, and when he came back he pushed Qi Long: "The crosstalk actor's mouth is a lie!"
In addition to the two of them, Yue Yunpeng and Sa Beining also had the physical examination. Qi Long was more familiar with these two.
The show also features Nigomiti and an actor from Taiwan who is not very familiar to most people: Ruan Jingtian.
Nicometti had a video recording task this morning, so he will have his physical examination the next day and will not be with everyone else.
Ruan Jingtian had his physical examination in Taiwan.
He is considered a popular actor recently. He played a gangster and the villain's popularity is higher than that of the good guy.
"My goodness, it seems like even if the five of us, the old, the weak, the sick and the pregnant, are tied together we can't beat him!" Qi Long sighed after learning that Ruan Jingtian was on the show and watching the video of him shooting.
Sa Beining: "Please explain clearly, why are we the old, weak, sick, disabled and pregnant?"
That's so simple. Sha Yilao, Nigomaiti Ruo, Sa Beining is sick and is being treated with internal height enhancement, Qi Long was hit by a car and there are steel bars in his body.
After saying that, Qi Long and Sa Beining looked at Yue Yunpeng at the same time.
Sa Beining patted Xiao Yueyue's belly and said, "You must have come to the wrong place, ma'am. This is a physical examination, not a prenatal checkup!"
Yue Yunpeng pushed him and everyone laughed.
With the two funny guys Qi Long and Sa Beining, the show will be great!
The physical examination officially began. Everyone stopped making a fuss and lined up obediently in their respective departments. They had their blood drawn and X-rays taken. The whole morning was spent on the physical examination.
Qi Long told Sa Beining to pay attention to his crosstalk tonight and go and watch it after it is uploaded. It is a script written based on your story of being cheated.
After hearing this, Sa Beining agreed repeatedly and expressed his anticipation.
Since everyone had their own things to do, they didn't eat together and left on their own.
Today, Qi Long is going to take the high-speed train to Beichuncheng, where Beichuncheng Deyun Club is opening. As a native of Beichuncheng, he is naturally on the list of actors. The name of the show is "Scam Company"!
He modified it based on a story called "Thieves Company" from his previous life. Due to the rise of mobile payments, fewer and fewer people carry cash with them when going out, and there are fewer thieves. Therefore, Qi Long changed stealing into cheating.
Generally, the Deyun Society attaches great importance to the opening of a new venue. Guo Degang and Yu Qian even came in person to perform a show to close the event.
The second to last players ahead of them are Qi Long and Dong Qiang.
At the current stage in Deyun Society, apart from Lao Guo and Yu Qian, there is basically no one else who can catch up to them. Not to mention their nephews, even their peers Gao Feng, Hou Zhen and Sun Yue are in jeopardy.
Because you don’t know what kind of work Qi Long will come up with to blow up the audience, just take the variety show that was recorded a few days ago, [Pan Ta] is still very popular on the Internet.
In the Penguin Video "Deyun Douxiaoshe", the crosstalk of Meng Hetang and Qi Long has a high number of views, and the screen is full of comments about him!
Qi Long and Dong Qiang, as the second to last, need to control the time. Fortunately, the program is not long, so even if Qi Long adds some work, it will not be enough.
The previous performance passed by quickly and soon it was their turn.
"Next, please enjoy the crosstalk: "Scam Company", performed by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang!"
Both of them wore suits in this scene.
In fact, crosstalk actors do not have to wear gowns when performing crosstalk. Generally, they wear gowns for old jokes, and suits for new crosstalk. Dongqiang's suit looks exquisite, while Qilong's suit is gray and a bit plain.
The fellow villagers gave them warm applause, and before they even stepped to the front of the stage, several big brothers shouted "Great!"
"The big brothers and sisters from Northeast China are so warm and enthusiastic. Thank you all!" Gao Dongqiang placed his right hand on his chest at the table, bowed slightly, and gave a knight's salute.
Qi Long pointed at him: "Ah, Gao Dongqiang? Hello"
"It's me! Who are you?" The two shook hands together.
Qi Long patted his chest and said, "I am a language worker just like you!"
“Are you also a language worker?”
"Yes, I have to talk about it every day, from morning to night, and sometimes I have to continue talking after get off work."
"Yo, we are the same, we speak on stage and practice with our mouths off stage!"
"My job can provide positive emotional value to others and make people happy for a short time." Qi Long waved his hand.
“So do our comedians!”
"But there are two differences between us. My happiness is short-lived. After the happiness, I will have other emotions!"
Gao Dongqiang looked as if he understood. "Oh, you are a skit actor. You have to move the audience at the end of every comedy, telling them that the core of comedy is tragedy, and elevate the theme. Let's eat dumplings at the end!"
“No, no, no,” Qi Long waved his hand: “The skit ended with a touching scene. Our other emotions are the sadness, self-blame, and sorrow they felt after they found out they were cheated out of their money!”
"So you are a liar?" Gao Dongqiang looked at Qi Long with disdain.
Qi Long retorted: "A crosstalk artist can't speak? What do you mean by a liar? We are just porters of other people's property!"
"Moving it into your own pocket? Then you're still a liar!"
"We have educational significance, so that they can learn from their mistakes and be more careful from now on. Do you have crosstalk?"
Gao Dongqiang put his hands on his hips and said, "No, who comes to listen to crosstalk to receive education? Since we were young, we have received education from our parents, elders, and teachers. After entering society, we also receive education from supervisors, bosses, and leaders.
People just want to listen to crosstalk for fun, what's the point of education? Is this society so lacking in education that we need to use crosstalk to educate others?"
The righteous speech drew applause from the audience.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang agreed that the most basic thing about crosstalk is to make people laugh, and it is enough for crosstalk actors to do this.
As for what others can understand and learn from your crosstalk, that is their own experience. You can influence and persuade others subtly, but you cannot force your own values on others and make them think that what you say is right.
"You may have a loud voice and you may be right, but you can't underestimate us liars. We liars are also knowledgeable!"
"Is there any knowledge in this thing?"
Qi Long began to talk about some news information he found from the anti-fraud APP.
First of all, it is very important to choose the target. If you try to deceive people blindly, you may fail to deceive them. The first step in choosing a target is to look at the profile picture.
If the profile picture is of flowers and plants with colorful artistic words, it is most likely that the person is an elderly person who has a lot of pension funds and has a low awareness of preventing online fraud and is easily deceived.
Next are selfies. Those who take solo selfies are generally those who are confident about their looks but have not yet been in a relationship. They pretend to be considerate and caring men or intimate girls and are easy to be deceived into giving them money.
"People will believe you even if you pay a huge sum of money to have a child!"
Gao Dongqiang quickly asked: "Then tell me, what kind of avatar is not easy to be deceived?"
"Do you know what avatar is the easiest to deceive?"
"what!"
"Those who use two-dimensional cartoon characters are poor and have many problems. They are not worth killing!"
Gao Dongqiang: "I am offended but it's wrong. Ah Cong is a rich second generation. He is very rich and he also has a cartoon avatar!"
Qi Long looked at him with disdain: "Hey, you nitpicker, look at this, you don't understand our business as a liar, you can't do this job."
"I didn't want to do it either."
"In the era of big data, we must of course focus on accurately targeting our target audience. If we try to find a needle in a haystack just for one or two special cases, we will probably starve to death before we even open our store."
"You are very knowledgeable!"
"Of course. I tell you, after confirming the profile picture, ask about the profession indirectly. Some professions are difficult to deceive."
Qi Long began to give examples. The host would correct the scammers' Mandarin and make them speak more standard Mandarin.
"I said: Come to our place. He would correct me and say: You can't tell the difference between n and l. Read with me: red carp, green carp and donkey."
"Have you learned it?"
"I was angry at the time. Do you want to go to prison and ruin your life? He said again, you can't tell the difference between s and sh. Come, read with me, there are forty-four dead persimmon trees in front of the mountain."
“This guy is such a good teacher!”
Qi Long was so angry that he clapped his hands: "You said I have it easy, but I cheated someone and still have to learn Mandarin. How hateful!"
"You deserve it. Do you feel wronged for being a liar?"
Qi Long was scolded, and he stood up on the spot, pointing at Gao Dongqiang: “There is another kind, that is, crosstalk actors like you can’t lie!”
"why?"
"You're talking nonsense. Last time I called a guy named Guo Qilin and told him that you made a large purchase overseas. He said he didn't go abroad and that only his father went abroad. I thought it was possible that your father spent the money, and he immediately told me a story saying that his father didn't know how to spend money!"
"what story?"
Qi Long slowly told the story of "Watching the Money Slave" which he had memorized while lying on the bed. He first said that after Guo Degang's family used up all the sesame oil in a year, they would still have three or five extra bags.
He then said that only when Guo Degang was out could his son and his apprentices and their families have something good to eat, and then he urged the old man to come back and clean up the matter quickly so that the old man would not find out.
"Once, his father came home early, and the family was so scared that everyone was in a panic. Guo Qilin cleverly scattered a handful of soybeans at the entrance of the village, and then turned around to yell at everyone to eat quietly. Guo Degang squatted down and picked up the soybeans one by one. By the time he came back, they had already been eaten!
And how frugal was his father? Before he died, he asked him not to bury him, but to chop up the meat and sell it in the market, and he could make some money! "
Gao Dongqiang pulled him: "Wait a moment, didn't he say his father went abroad?"
"Yes, I realized something was wrong at that time. Are you making fun of me? How many targets do I have at work? Do I have time to listen to your idle chat? I was anxious at that time. How could your father go abroad after he died?"
"What did he say?" Dongqiang was curious.
"He said that foreigners bought his father's meat"
"Wow! Guo Qilin, you're selling your meat overseas?"
Qi Long continued to accuse: "Another time, I called Zhang Helun and lied to him. I said your son is in my hands."
"How did he say?"
"He said his son just died in his hands!"
"Hey, that dead father and this dead son?"
"Yes, Zhang Helun said his son is also called Guo Degang!"
"This guy is becoming more and more disrespectful."
"When I heard his son had died, I said I should comfort him (I had a little conscience, but not much), and I said I was in mourning."
"He said, it's okay, I'll go wash my hands now, oops, it's sticky"
"This son is not dead, he is not born!"
(End of this chapter)
