After recording the show in Shanghai, Qi Long and Wang Xun flew to Sichuan Province together. Brother Xun was filming a drama there, while Qi Long came to participate in a commercial performance called: "Deyun Wine Culture Night Crosstalk Special".
The organizer is Luzhou Laojiao, and viewers who buy tickets will receive a gift: affordable liquor.
Just like Deyun playing cards, it is purely given to the audience as a gift.
In this commercial performance, Guo Degang, Yu Qian and Gao Feng performed a "Drinking Order". Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang saw that there were no traditional crosstalk, so they performed a traditional crosstalk: "Praise for Being Exquisite"!
The two of them performed after the group crosstalk and before the closing performance by Guo Degang and Yu Qian.
After the drinking game ended, Qi Long and Dong Qiang walked onto the stage.
While adjusting the microphone, Qi Long read out: "What the three of you just performed was a crosstalk show called "Drinking Orders"!"
"Correct!"
"Of course our rule is not to bring alcohol on stage, so they used this fan as alcohol and hit us on the head!" Qi Long picked up the fan.
Dongqiang knew what to do and nodded: "Yes!"
"Actually, this fan has been heated by fire. It doesn't hurt when we hit someone, but it makes noise. And when we hit someone, our hands will be clamped inside the fan. The harder we hit, the more painful it will be for our hands." Qi Long showed the fan to everyone.
As he was demonstrating, the fan hit Dongqiang on the head.
After knocking twice, Qi Long asked Dong Qiang: "Does it hurt?"
Dong Qiang waved his hands: "It doesn't hurt, props!"
Qi Long raised his fan and hit it a few more times: "Look, I can fight for a whole day without any problem!"
Dong Qiang pushed him: "I have something to do!"
The audience burst into laughter. Most of them knew that the joke was fake, but it still looked funny.
Qi Long was puzzled: "Isn't it painful?"
"Nonsense, it doesn't hurt. I've been beaten by you all the time. I feel so aggrieved!"
Qi Long smiled and put down the fan: "Yes, in fact, we don't like to perform this crosstalk show, because everyone likes to watch us innovate crosstalk. For the sake of innovation, I replaced the fan with the mace, but he refused to agree!"
Amid the laughter of the audience, Dongqiang shouted: "Nonsense, if you agree, I'm gone!"
The laughter gradually died down, and Qi Long continued: "It's so lively. There are so many people here today. Some of you know us, and some of you may be seeing us for the first time. I still have to make a brief self-introduction."
"Please introduce yourself!"
"Hello everyone, I am Deyun Society. I am loved by everyone, and I am handsome and handsome. I am as good-looking as Pan An. I am eloquent and witty, and I am highly respected, virtuous, and upright."
As soon as Qi Long opened his mouth, a bunch of idioms came out.
At the beginning, when the audience heard that they were asked to introduce themselves, they were ready to clap to express their enthusiasm. However, Qi Long's "brief" collection of idioms made everyone immediately change from preparing to applaud to shouting "whoa".
Dongqiang also pulled Qi Long during this "whoa" sound: "Hey, Teacher Qi, Teacher Qi"
Qi Long was a little depressed when he was dragged by him: "What's the matter? I'm introducing you!"
"Didn't you say a brief introduction? Does this have anything to do with brevity? From appearance to eloquence, from character to figure, you have used more than 20 idioms. How can this be brief?"
Qi Long pushed him: "I'll be done soon!"
"Keep it short. Everyone is here to listen to crosstalk, not to hear you introduce yourself."
Qi Long impatiently withdrew his gaze from Gao Dongqiang, and turned his face to the audience with a smile: "I am nicknamed by people: a true gentleman who is spotless, a good young man who is pure and innocent."
As he spoke, Dongqiang pointed at him helplessly: "Here we go again!"
"Everyone who has seen him thinks that he is the perfect partner for Gao Dongqiang, Qi Long!"
Dongqiang's disdainful look immediately changed, and he turned his head: "Huh? You're talking about me."
This reversal and Dongqiang's performance made everyone laugh.
Qi Long nodded: "Yes!"
"The words above are all used to describe me?"
"Yes!"
Dong Qiang said urgently: "Please do it again."
The audience started cheering again, this time for Dong Qiang.
"There is a reason why I praise him, because I have learned a lot from partnering with Dongqiang."
"You're welcome!"
"Dongqiang, you are very knowledgeable. Just say that we will come to Sichuan Province to perform in the next two days. I was worried before coming here."
"What are you worried about?"
"People in Sichuan love spicy food, but I don't like spicy food. Dongqiang then told me that Sichuan cuisine is not just spicy. Each dish has its own style and taste. There are many delicious and non-spicy Sichuan dishes. I'll treat you to some when you come!"
"Yes, chicken tofu and boiled cabbage, these are not spicy!"
Qi Long commented: "Look what a nice person he is. Suddenly I am no longer worried about food, but now I am worried about one more thing."
"what?"
"Meng Hetang's parents insisted that I help him. They said there were many beautiful girls in Sichuan Province and asked me to take Meng Hetang to the blind date corner in the park. But I was worried. I thought it might not be easy to find a girl in Sichuan Province. Then Dongqiang persuaded me again!"
"What can I say?"
“There are heterosexuals in Sichuan!”
As soon as this was said, the audience burst into laughter. It was another joke that fit the local situation. Recently, the online reputation of Sichuan Province, especially Chengdu, has been affected to a certain extent. This is a classic line clarified by netizens in Sichuan Province.
"Indeed!" Dongqiang nodded.
Qi Long pointed at Dongqiang and said, “He is knowledgeable and knows a lot, so I admire Dongqiang very much!”
"You're welcome!"
"The main thing is that he was born in a wealthy family, so he has seen more than people like me from a small family. I just admire him, but his father is even more amazing."
"What's the matter?" Dongqiang's expression suddenly became cautious.
Qi Long opened his mouth and said: "I have a deep respect for them, which can be said to be from the bottom of my heart!"
"From the bottom of my heart!" Dong Qiang corrected.
Qi Long turned his head and said, "Look, they are very knowledgeable. It's not enough to just say that internal organs are to be worshipped. You have to say which internal organs are to be worshipped!"
"People that word just comes from the heart."
Qi Long laughed and said, "Look, you're showing your weakness. I just memorized those idioms before I went on stage. I don't really understand them. I can't compare with people like you who are full of books and are very quiet."
"Did you say something in English?"
Qi Long and Dong Qiang's typical nonsense and blind man performances made everyone laugh.
"The fragrance of books is so strong, it means that the books in your house are so strong that they can make you absorbed and full of the cultural atmosphere."
"How can you praise someone for being cultured like this? Teacher Qi, why don't you use the same words you used to introduce me at the beginning?"
Qi Long glanced at him and said, "I forgot everything."
"A family of scholars!"
"Yes, yes, yes. Anyway, he grew up in a scholarly environment. His father made him read a lot and read good books since he was young. He also cultivated his love for reading!"
Dong Qiang nodded: "That's right"
"I don't have this condition. I envy him. When I was a child, I went to play with him. He was always reading books. He was reading Mr. Lu Xun's books. He was reading Mr. Lu Xun's books at the age of four, and he read them with great interest."
"What book?"
Qi Long opened his mouth and said, "Lu Xun's Travels!"
The whole audience laughed, the cultural bulldozer is here again!
"It's called Robinson Crusoe." Although Qi Long said it wrong, he was still very confident: "It was written by Lu Xun!"
"It wasn't written by Lu Xun, it was written by Daniel Defoe, a foreign novelist!"
"So what did Lu Xun write?"
"Lu Xun wrote a lot. The ones I read when I was a kid were Dawn Blossoms Plucked at Dusk and Kong Yiji."
Qi Long nodded: "There is another one that I am particularly interested in. When I went to your house, I really wanted to borrow that book, but I never had the nerve to do it."
Dongqiang asked him: "Which one?"
"What are you crazy about? Don't say anything, let me think about it. Yes, crazy means people remember!"
This time the laughter was greater than ever before, echoing throughout the entire venue. Many audience members laughed so hard that they held their stomachs and clapped their legs to control their laughter.
Dong Qiang quickly grabbed Qi Long and said, "Diary of a Madman!"
"Then I'm not interested!"
As soon as he finished speaking, the laughter that had just been suppressed rang out again.
"Everyone is laughing at you!"
"I know, so I learn from you. I have always envied you. Your family is well-off, and you have been attracted by books since you were young, and you have developed an interest in reading."
"That's not seduction!"
"That's what it's called?"
"attract!"
"I have been interested in reading since I was young, but I can't. There are no books in my family. My cultural level is not as good as that of Mr. Dongqiang. Not only in terms of cultural knowledge, but also in terms of etiquette, Mr. Dongqiang's father has trained him very well!"
Dong Qiang nodded: "That's what I should do!"
"When we normally go out to eat, you see: waiter, take your order, thank you! That's about the same, but other people are different."
"What do I say?"
"Hello, waiter, could you please take our order? Thank you!"
"Please use it more often and talk more about yourself. It's nothing!" Dongqiang said modestly.
Qi Long sighed: "Just look at the words they use, the hemorrhoids that are born with it, the itching, just gushed out!"
"Why are hemorrhoids still itchy?"
Qi Long explained: "It's for hemorrhoids and itching. It's specially used to treat dermatitis and itching."
The performance style of the blind man is to hit the audience with a hammer here and a stick there, making it impossible for the audience to guess what you will say next, in order to create a joke.
After the audience laughed, Dongqiang suddenly realized: "Are you trying to say? Temperament? Cultivation!"
"Yes, yes, yes, your manners and upbringing are all revealed. As soon as the waiter finishes taking the order, I just say thank you. Ren Dongqiang's manners are immediately revealed. I pull the chair back and kneel down. Thank you!"
Dong Qiang raised his foot: "What's wrong with me being a bitch?"
"Later I realized that you knelt down because you couldn't stand steadily, and then you said you wanted to stand up to say thank you, but we didn't stand up!"
"You made it clear!"
"Think about it, everyone. What kind of father could raise a Dong Qiang like this? That's why I respect the old man from the bottom of my heart!"
Dong Qiang nodded: "You are right this time!"
"What I admire most is that the old man is not like many parents who are not strict with their children. The old man is strict with his children and himself at the same time, setting an example!"
“Parents are the best teachers for their children!”
"That's right. Everything in their house must be in accordance with the rules. No one can be in bed at six in the morning. Everyone must get up and run in the morning."
"That's true!"
"Of course, rich people are different from us ordinary people. They have their own rules. If we ordinary people want to get up early, we may set an alarm or something. [Ding ding ding]" Qi Long simulated the alarm of Fruit mobile phone and Huapai mobile phone.
Some people who were woken up by the alarm clock immediately felt a tingling sensation on their scalp.
"Stop being one, there's no need to imitate like that!"
"When this kind of alarm goes off, many people are probably like me. When they hear it, they get mad, their heart palpitates, their brain panics, they feel very uncomfortable, and they feel like their heart is not well. Other families are particular about waking up. They don't use alarms. They just tell the servants to get up at six o'clock every day. At five-fifty, their servants are waiting at the door of the master bedrooms."
"A servant to wake you up?"
"Yes, at six o'clock, the servants light firecrackers with lighters, push the door open, and throw them in. There's a crackling sound!"
In this segment, Qi Long speaks very fast, supplemented by action performances, because the punchlines have to be delivered in an instant.
The audience immediately got the joke and burst into laughter, saying it was so noisy that they thought it was a high-end way to wake up someone, like throwing firecrackers?
Dongqiang was puzzled: "Isn't this even more noisy? My heart can't take it anymore."
Qi Long waved his hand: "Firecrackers are festive sounds. Your family is as happy as Chinese New Year when they wake you up with the sound of firecrackers. No one should stay in bed. Hurry up and go out!"
"Nonsense, the room is full of smoke, it's choking!"
"After eating, I went out for a morning run, and then came back to have breakfast. Their breakfast is different from ours. We eat steamed buns and fried dough sticks, while my friends in Sichuan eat rice noodles or something. They are awesome."
"What do we eat at home?"
"onion!"
There was laughter again, which was really unexpected.
"Eating dry onions so early in the morning?"
"Yes, the spicy taste went straight to my head and I woke up instantly!"
Dong Qiang waved his hand: "I was already sober when the firecrackers went off!"
"Other families don't let servants cut onions for meals. Because his father wanted to train his hands-on ability, the whole family cut their own onions. At that time, Dongqiang was short and his parents were tall. When they cut onions, the onion juice couldn't reach their eyes. Dongqiang cried because of the spiciness. He cried every day while cutting onions."
"Hey, don't mention it!"
Qi Long sighed: "His mother felt sorry for her child, so she found a folk remedy in a book, saying that cutting onions in water would stop the eyes from tearing up. Dongqiang tried it and filled a basin with water."
Qi Long then began to perform again, taking a deep breath, looking down, and cutting onions with both hands.
Dongqiang reacted: "I went into the water and held my breath!"
The audience laughed again. They didn't expect it to be so waterlogged.
Qi Long raised his head: "Hey, it's useless, Dong Qiang cried even more after coming out of the water!"
"why?"
"I didn't see it, I cut my hand and cried in pain!"
"How can I not cry?"
"Change the water for the young master. You need to be able to open your eyes in the water!" Qi Long imitated the majestic voice: "You can open your eyes in the water. Because of the refraction of the water, what you see in the water is different from the real thing. All this, oh, I cut my finger again!"
"Well, I cried three times!"
Qi Long said: "Your father gave you an idea, you put the onion in the water"
"That's right!"
"Then hold your breath and go in with your eyes open while watching the cutting, so you won't cut your fingers, right? When the onions are cut inside, all the water turns into onion water, and your eyes will be so stinging that you can't even open them. Your parents will be so happy, and they won't cry anymore!" Qi Long clapped his hands wildly as he spoke.
Dongqiang commented: "My parents are also stupid!"
The whole audience burst into laughter. (End of this chapter)
