Chapter 318 Qi Long and Yu Qian Mixed Crosstalk
During the Wire Festival, Qi Long only had this one, less-troublesome program to record, and the rest of the time was spent recharging his batteries. He watched crosstalk and jokes on the Magic Video app, hoping to add something new to his traditional show, "Anyway Talk."
There is no need to worry that Brother Qian won't be able to keep up. Guo Degang is quite imaginative on stage, and there is definitely no problem with Teacher Yu Qian's impromptu reaction ability.
The next day was the medley performance. There were no original pairs of actors, just medley performances. Zhu Hecong, the nuclear bomb, met Zhang Hebiao, the crazy guy. When Zhu Hecong did not play by the routine, Zhang Hebiao performed even crazier than him. The crosstalk structure of the two people could be said to be fragmented, but the atmosphere on the scene was full.
In the first show, they had a great start. In the second show, Hou Zhen and Sun Yue, representatives of the intangible cultural heritage of Deyun Society, took the stage.
It is rare to see Lord Hou perform crosstalk, but judging from his ability to chatter, he will never feel rusty in crosstalk no matter how long he hasn't performed it. The fat man Sun Yue can dominate the stage wherever he goes, and even though Lord Hou speaks fast, he can still deliver all the jokes, and the atmosphere on the scene continues to be high.
In the third program, Gao Feng and Gao Dongqiang performed on stage. Gao Feng deliberately wanted to "make things difficult" for Dongqiang, and performed Gao Feng's classic crosstalk routine on the crosstalk stage. He started by reciting the "Three Character Classic", then turned around and recited the Hundred Family Surnames, and after a while he performed some praising of exquisiteness, praising of houses, tongue twisters, and counting tricks.
Dongqiang also has solid basic skills, so no matter what Gao Feng does, he handles it all smoothly!
In the fourth scene, Guo Qilin and Luan Yunping performed a kicking match. In the match, Guo Qilin could openly kick Luan Yunping from behind. Luan Yunping said, "You are the only one who dares to do this in the whole Deyun." The whole audience was shocked.
The crosstalk performed by four mixed partners received a lot of applause from the audience, and the fifth program was performed by Qi Long and Yu Qian.
"Next, please enjoy the crosstalk "Anyway Talk", performed by Qi Long and Yu Qian!"
"Great!!!" The audience became enthusiastic and clapped hard.
Qi Long and Yu Qian strode onto the stage. When adjusting the microphone, Qi Long said in disdain, "Who was that just now? The microphone was so low?"
"Guo Qilin!"
"Am I still Guo Degang?"
Yu Qian pointed at the microphone: "Guo Degang, please lower it a little bit!"
This wasn't even the opening joke, just some idle chat while adjusting the microphone, but because the audience was in such a good mood, everyone still burst into laughter.
Qi Long adjusted the microphone, and Yu Qian folded up the towels and other things that had been messed up by the two of them performing the leg stunt, and started talking seriously.
"The show just now was called "The Great Trial of Fraudulent Confessions", and the performers were Guo Qilin and Luan Yunping. Guo Qilin is Mr. Yu's apprentice, and Luan Yunping is Guo Degang's favorite apprentice."
"That's right!"
"Beloved disciple, that is to say, this is the disciple of Guo Degang's lover, so all the other disciples of Guo Degang call me uncle, only Luan Yunping sees me and says: Long, Long, he is not from our sect!"
Yu Qian was stunned: "Ah? He was taught by his master's wife?"
Qi Long was also surprised: "You have such a good relationship with Guo Degang's wife, my sister-in-law, don't you know?"
Yu Qian's face suddenly showed an embarrassed and somewhat ashamed smile, and he shook his hands: "Don't post it on the stage!"
Just this expression is enough for many crosstalk actors to learn for a long time.
Among Deyun's Yunhe Jiuxiao disciples, Meng Hetang is considered to be relatively good at fortune-telling, but his fortune-telling is somewhat deliberate and weird.
His godfather Yu Qian's wise behavior was entirely within the prescribed context, and the comedy effect it brought was not of the same type, but was more likely to make people laugh.
As a result, the audience was happy.
Qi Long shook his head: "Why can't we say this on stage? Your brother Qian, my senior brother Guo Degang, and Qian's wife and Gang's wife, everyone knows the complicated love story of the four of you"
“There are only three people in Frank’s documentary, and there are four of us!”
When Yu Qian was about to speak Frank, Qi Long had already bitten his tongue gently to prevent himself from laughing. There was nothing he could do because the documentary was so explosive that he still couldn't help laughing when he thought about it after a long time.
As a result, the audience couldn't help laughing and started applauding.
Qi Long bit his tongue to hold back his laughter and said casually, "Then it's not you!"
"Why not count me?"
"I see you're reluctant."
"Can you be willing? Is there a love story between four people?"
"Then I used the wrong words. What I meant was that the relationship between the four of you is very deep. You see, you and Guo Degang are partners on stage and good friends off stage. Usually you visit his house and he visits yours. The two of you run into each other on the road the next morning, say hello and go home separately."
Yu Qian listened attentively in the first half, but his expression became dull towards the end, and the audience's laughter gradually grew louder.
"Are we both crazy? Why are we living at each other's house instead of our own?"
Qi Long explained: "It means you have a good relationship!"
"Even if we're in a good relationship, this won't happen!"
"It's just a description, to say how close the relationship between the two is. They are each other's godfathers!"
Yu Qianlan asked, "What do you mean by being each other's godfathers? He calls me godfather, and I call him godfather?"
"Yeah!" Qi Long nodded uncertainly.
"How fresh is that? Is there such a thing as that?"
“Yes, university dormitory.”
These four words resonated with many people present, and they were happy because of the resonance.
Yu Qian was full of confusion: "University dormitory? Godfathers to each other?"
"Of course not. Whoever helps buy food is the godfather, and whoever treats us to a meal is the godfather. It's the same with you and Guo Degang. For example, if you want to eat this 50-cent bag of instant noodles, you call my senior brother Guo Degang and say, 'Godfather, give me a bag of instant noodles,' and he will bring it to you!"
"You call me dad for fifty cents? How stupid of me!" Brother Qian was really tough when he met Qi Longliang. He praised him with every word and was in high spirits. Now his face was full of dissatisfaction.
Qi Long comforted him: "Don't worry, he didn't take advantage of you, he also wanted to eat something, and he called you godfather when he asked you to bring it."
"What did he ask me to bring?"
Qi Long squatted down and imitated Guo Degang: "Yu Qian, right? I, I am Guo Degang, godfather, I want to eat something today, can you bring some for me?"
"what is this?"
"Steamed lamb, steamed bear paw" Qi Long began to "read out the menu". This was not a serious "read out the menu", it was a show of skill, and the speed of speech was very fast.
Yu Qian stopped him: "Stop, stop, stop!"
Qi Long stopped, turned around and asked Yu Qian: "How is it, did you get back the name godfather? He didn't take advantage of you!"
"Nonsense, he's just getting the bargain on the food. Bring me 15 cents worth of instant noodles and I'll give him a full banquet."
Qi Long said impatiently: “Oh, you have money, don’t care!”
"I care. Stop talking nonsense. If you are wrong, just say you are wrong. What are you talking about? We are each other's godfathers and we are Guo Degang's apprentices."
Qi Long interrupted: "It's your godfather!"
The audience burst into laughter. Yu Qian turned around and coughed. Actually, he was trying to hold back his laughter. He didn't expect that when the supporting actor was explaining seriously, Qi Long would come up with such a good joke.
"That's even more outrageous. It was his apprentice who called me godfather."
Qi Long suddenly realized: "Oh~ For example, Meng Hetang and Zhou Jiuliang both call you godfather!"
"Yes!"
"Your disciples call him godfather (yes), for example, Guo Qilin calls Guo Degang godfather!"
The audience applauded and laughed.
"He's my own son!"
"Oh, Yu Yunting is your godson?"
"That's my own son too!"
Using the relationships within the Deyun Society as an example, it opened up the atmosphere for the audience.
This is what you say in the scene. 80% of the people who come to the Wire Festival are from the Deyun Club. They are familiar with these things and can create a good effect. People on other stages may not have heard of the Deyun Club, so they won't use this as a prelude. Qi Long continued: "Just now I was joking with my brother Qian. What is Brother Qian actually? The queen of crosstalk. It's my honor to work with her!"
"You flatter me!"
"My biggest wish in life is to work with Brother Qian. When Guo Degang invited me to Deyun Club, he told me to pick any supporting actor from Deyun Club. I chose Brother Qian, and he told me to get lost!"
Yu Qian was pleased: "Oh, there is also this matter?"
"Today is my dream come true. Although Mr. Yu is not very smart and sometimes slow to react, he has always been my idol."
Yu Qian, who had been smiling smugly, had his expression changed again. The change was gradual. First his smile froze, then slowly retracted, and he made the audience laugh again with his facial expressions.
"No, buddy, what do you mean I'm not smart, what do you mean I'm slow to react?"
Qi Long turned around and said, "Why are you so anxious? I'm telling you the truth!"
"That's not the truth. My brain is fine."
"How do you prove it? Come on, take out your brain and show it to everyone. If you do, I'll apologize."
This is a classic scene: the funny man says the supporting man is not good enough, so the supporting man wants to compete with the funny man!
But when you think of Qi Long, it's the first time for everyone to hear it, it's new!
Yu Qian was shocked by Qi Long's miraculous development, and quickly responded by waving his hand: "Can I still hear the apology?"
"Then how do you prove that you are in good shape?" Qi Long asked.
Yu Qian asked back: "Then how do you prove that I have a bad brain?"
"How about this, I'll ask you a simple question, can you answer it quickly?" Qi Long suggested.
Yu Qian immediately made the decision: "Who is afraid of who? Tell me, what is the question?"
"My father went out to buy groceries. He bought three pounds of pork ribs, four pounds of beans and two pounds of corn. When he was buying the meat, the front of the butcher's shop was not very clean and a fly landed on it. May I ask, what is the name of that fly?"
"That fly, how would I know where to go?"
Qi Long spread his hands: "Look, it's exposed, right?"
"Then what's your name?" Yu Qian was dissatisfied.
Qi Long said proudly: "A fly, then the fly is called a fly, who gave the fly a name? The answer is right on the riddle, and you haven't even answered it yet."
"No, your question is not serious. Give me a serious question!"
Qi Long agreed: "There is a program in our crosstalk called "Drinking Order", which finds traditional festivals in each month. So, I will tell you a date and you can quickly answer me what festival it is, okay?"
"This is acceptable!"
"But I want to make it clear in advance that I will not only talk about traditional Chinese festivals, I will also talk about some new festivals!"
"Just let your horse come over here!"
Qi Long asked the question: "June 1st!"
"It was Children's Day, my kids were giving a performance, and I was there to act as their supporting actor!"
"September 10th!"
"It's Teacher's Day. My kids are going to perform for their teachers, and I'm the supporting actor."
"September 12th!"
Yu Qian took a breath and was stunned: "What festival is September 12th? Don't talk nonsense!"
At this time, an audience member shouted: "Wire Festival!"
"Look, the audience knows that from September 12th to September 20th, there was a one-day ban on entertainment and performances, and the other seven days were the Wire Festival. You were still the supporting actor."
Yu Qian pleaded: "Please give me another chance. You are talking about serious festivals. Suddenly, a festival of our Deyun Society came up. I didn't react!"
"I didn't react and my reaction was a bit slow. That's reasonable!" Qi Long spread his hands.
Yu Qian asked Qi Long to give him another chance.
Qi Long continued: "May 1st."
"Labor Day, I will definitely remember this holiday!"
"March 8th!"
“It’s Women’s Day, everyone knows that!”
Qi Long asked with a grin, "March 7th?"
Yu Qian took a quick breath and froze in his place: "Is there a festival on March 7th?"
Qi Long waved his hand: "It's Girls' Day!"
Amidst the chuckles of the audience, Yu Qian opened his mouth and said, "Oh, only one day's difference?"
Sometimes it's really uncomfortable to understand something in seconds. Frank Chillon thought of it before and bit his tongue to hold back his laughter, but he didn't expect this joke. He originally thought that Yu Qian would say that this didn't count and he would change to another joke. He didn't expect that after Brother Qian turned it over like this, the joke exploded.
There were many audience friends at the scene who, like Qi Long, understood what he said immediately and burst into thunderous laughter.
Qi Long also turned around and laughed twice, "That's amazing, Brother Qian!"
He coughed lightly and came back to his senses: "Ahem, eh? Brother Qian, what are they laughing at?"
Yu Qian also played dumb: "I don't know either, I just said that the difference between the two is one day."
"There are still extra jokes!" Two people who obviously know everything are pretending to be innocent on the stage. There is nothing you can do. There are some things he just can't explain in detail, you have to appreciate them!
Originally, Qi Long had another nonsense to say after this paragraph, saying that Valentine's Day was Qingming Festival, and that everyone had to send flowers and say some lies to deceive ghosts.
Now looking at the stage, the effect of this joke is obviously like "one day's difference", so Qi Long has no intention of continuing to talk about the festival later, and directly moves on to the next item.
"As for this festival, if you have a little common sense, you will know that even an elementary school student can answer it correctly. How about this, Brother Qian, let's try something a little more difficult?"
"Hey, come on, what do you want to play?"
Qi Long suggested: "How about you imitate me and learn three sentences exactly as I do?"
"Is yours easier than the last one? Speak no more than three sentences, thirty, or even three hundred. I can learn it!"
Qi Long spoke up: "If you say I'm going to eat, I'll treat you to a meal too!"
Yu Qian imitated Qi Long's demeanor: "If you say I'm going to eat, I'll treat you to a meal too."
Qi Long: "I drink wine and I'll treat you to tea!"
Yu Qian said without changing a word: "I'll drink wine and I'll treat you to tea!"
At this time, Qi Long looked at him, not speaking clearly as before, and said casually: "Isn't it wrong?"
Yu Qian immediately retorted: "That's right?"
"See, you're wrong."
"What's wrong? The first sentence said I ate. The second sentence was a trap. I drank a lot of wine and asked people to drink tea, but what I read was correct."
Qi Long nodded: "The first two sentences are fine, but the third sentence is 'wrong', why didn't you follow along?"
Yu Qian, who had performed "Learn to Speak" countless times, still looked as if he had never heard of this part before, staring at the man: "Does this sentence count?"
"Three sentences, three sentences. If you don't learn the third sentence, then wouldn't that be wrong?"
(End of this chapter)
