Chapter 299 Crosstalk: "Cornucopia"
After talking about Dongqiang's father's daily schedule, he didn't end it yet: "What the boss said was just about making money, there are other things!"
"You're so busy, is there anything else?"
"You don't know, right? This is the difference between ordinary people like us and the wealthy. The wealthy have a long-term vision and know that they can't just stick to their dozen or so businesses and one company. That won't make a lot of money. Even though they have a lot of businesses, they can't make much in a day."
Dong Qiang was full of disdain: "He could earn it all back if he gave the female anchor a few fewer gifts!"
After the audience laughed, Qi Long continued: "People are learning while doing business. For example, when cooking tea eggs, they need to read this financial management knowledge!"
"Oh, you still need to study?"
"Yes, listen to the morning news while delivering milk!"
“Understand current events!”
"That's right. This way, when the opportunity comes, we can seize it."
I learn self-media operations while delivering couriers, learn video editing while driving a school bus, learn novel writing while attending meetings at work, and listen to storytelling and historical stories while delivering takeout.
By then, I can use it on the crosstalk stage and tell bedtime stories to my two sons.
"Oh, so that's when we heard the bedtime stories my dad told us?"
"Yes! You can multitask in any job."
Dongqiang interrupted Qilong and asked, "Why are you multitasking?"
Qi Long nodded affirmatively: "He multitasks everything he does. Even when he goes to the toilet, he has to check the information on his phone. If he forgets to bring his phone and it runs out of battery, he has to check the ingredients on the shampoo and shower gel bottles while sitting on the toilet!"
Dongqiang started to argue: "Then I can't help but ask, what is he learning when he tells crosstalk?"
Qi Long was stunned: "Your father only said fifteen minutes!"
"Oh, this grandson is opening the show for others?" Dongqiang, this "grandson", was still carrying the previous burden, which immediately caused laughter.
Qi Long: "Who says that about their own father? Don't look down on the opening actor!"
"I'm not looking down on him, but Mr. Qi, he can't do multiple things at once for fifteen minutes. What you just said is wrong!"
"Who said there's no such thing as multitasking? Look, this is the difference between us ordinary actors and your father. When we ordinary actors perform crosstalk, we just speak in a proper manner and put our best effort into the performance."
"Where's my dad?"
"He is an old man, observing while telling crosstalk"
"Observe? Observe what?"
"Observe the audience and their behavior and mannerisms. Your father knows that those who listen to crosstalk are all successful people, right?" Qi Long's tone suddenly rose. This was a playful flattery to the audience.
The audience was immediately happy: Yes!
But there are also those who don’t follow the routine. One old man shouted: [I am a waste! ]
Qi Long almost instantly extended his palm upward to the audience: "Look, this is the humility of successful people!"
The rapid impromptu jokes drew applause from the audience. A crosstalk performer may not be great just by saying the right words, but being able to follow up with impromptu jokes smoothly is definitely great, and the audience in Tianjin immediately gave him applause.
"I can't refute what you said, but what's the point of him observing successful people?"
Qi Long: "Learn how they talk and behave. Even if you learn a little bit of how the audience listens to crosstalk, the temperament of a successful person will come out. You have to have the temperament of a successful person, then people will be more willing to cooperate with you when you discuss cooperation later!"
"Oh, this is learning how to talk and behave!"
"correct!"
"Oh, then I'm curious about something else. What was my dad doing while he was watching the female anchor?"
Qi Long opened his mouth: "It's a craft!"
The audience understood immediately and there were cheers of “Oh~” and laughter.
“No wonder it only takes five minutes to talk about feelings with the secretary,” Dong Qiang concluded, making the audience laugh again.
Qi Long looked confused and continued, "While he was buying gifts, he was also preparing flowers to sell in the early morning. His hands were busy!"
"Such a craft?" Dongqiang was surprised.
Qi Long smirked: "What do you think?"
Dongqiang was stunned for a moment, and quickly explained: "I thought I was peeling eggs to prepare tea eggs."
This partner's little trick of setting traps brought laughter again.
"Your father kept this routine for four years. After four years, your father..."
"Success?"
"He was critically ill and went straight to KFC."
"He's critically ill and admitted to KFC?"
"It's the critically ill ward in that hospital. I forgot the exact name. Is it, UFO?"
"That's a UFO. My dad was captured by aliens!"
Qi Long pointed at Dong Qiang and said, "Look everyone, his father is already critically ill, and he is still fussing about where his father lives. I said something wrong. You are so unfilial!"
Dong Qiang acted like a dead pig that was not afraid of boiling water and let Bao Que turn the tables: "Of course not, I call him my grandson!"
"Go, go, go, where do you live?"
"ICU!"
"Yes, yes, yes. The hospital checked and found that your father had heart problems. It was all heart problems. Many parts of his heart were broken into pieces!"
Dong Qiang commented: "The downside of multitasking!"
"Nurse, hurry up and sew up your father's heart"
"Will it work if I sew it up?"
"I don't know how I got the treatment, but I spent all my money in the past four years on it, and in the end I managed to save his life!"
“It was all in vain!”
"But your father didn't give up. When I went to visit him, he was still singing. As he spoke, Qi Long began to sing.
[If the heart is there, the dream is there. There is true love between heaven and earth. No matter success or failure, life is heroic. It's just a matter of starting over.]
"This is the perseverance of successful people. Your father decided to work 24 hours a day and not sleep when he was discharged from the hospital!"
"Are you still struggling?" Dongqiang was horrified: "I worked so hard to make money and all the money was sent to the hospital. You haven't learned your lesson yet? Are you still struggling?"
Qi Long nodded: "Who said it wasn't true? Your grandfather is here too. He said to your father, son (Chong Dongqiang)."
"I was careless and he got the advantage again."
"Son, stop struggling. You just want to make money, don't you? I've kept it from you for so long. Now I'll tell you the truth. Our Gao family is not poor. We have a treasure. If you take it out, you will never have to worry about food and drink for the rest of your life!"
"So valuable?"
"That is!"
In this way, we started to do the real work.
"So my father's efforts were useless? He worked hard for four years, spent all his savings, and then became a wealthy man with his father's sponsorship?"
Qi Long agreed: "Yeah!"
"Then why you said that so much earlier, it turns out that my father was born in Rome, but he had to be a slave!"
Dongqiang said this, and the whole audience burst into the biggest laughter since the beginning of the crosstalk. After this punchline, they talked about Dongqiang's family treasure. Dongqiang said he didn't know anything about it, so Qilong started to do the real work.
The previous "Heroic Theory" and "Eight-panel Screen" are all short crosstalks. This crosstalk based on the "Selling Five Instruments" is a proper long crosstalk, which has been performed since the end of the Yuan Dynasty.
【At the end of the Yuan Dynasty, the emperor was licentious and immoral, and war broke out all over the country, and the people were living in misery. The prime minister Tuotuo made ten plans to wipe out all the martial artists in the world. A hero emerged in the martial arts examination, Huaiyuan Anning Hei Taisui, and the tiger-fighting general Chang Yuchun! 】
Then he talked about Chang Yuchun's battle achievements, such as pouring wine on the Grand Tutor, removing half of the dragon robe, and killing the gold, silver, bronze and iron-headed kings.
[Twenty-seven company camps were trampled into ashes! ]
Dongqiang gave a thumbs up: "You are capable!"
Next, they talked about this treasure, saying that Zhu Yuanzhang discovered this treasure while taking the military examination. As soon as he saw it, he thought he was the son of destiny, so he worked hard to establish the Ming Dynasty.
This treasure begins to run through the story.
First of all, the first reason why Prince of Yan, Zhu Di, came to Beijing was not for the throne, but for this treasure.
During the reign of Emperor Chongzhen, when Prince Chuang entered Beijing, the emperor hid the treasure before committing suicide because he did not want it to fall into the hands of others.
As a result, Li Zicheng learned that the treasure was taken away by Wu Bingbu (Wu Sangui's father). He tortured the other party but he refused to reveal the truth, and finally beat him to death with a copper stick.
Wu Sangui's father was killed, his wife Chen Yuanyuan was also taken away, and he led the Qing army into the pass.
Later, during the reign of Emperor Shunzhi, Shunzhi discovered this treasure. After seeing it, he was deeply moved. He took off his dragon robe, changed into a cassock, and went to Mount Wutai to become a monk. Since then, no one dared to mention this treasure.
All in all, in Qi Long's narrative, this treasure influenced many major events.
During the Xianfeng period, this treasure fell into the hands of Prince Li, who, when drunk, gave it to Dongqiang's ancestor.
Dong Qiang wondered: "Why reward our ancestors?"
"This brings us to your ancestors' abilities. They were experienced, loyal and reliable. They woke up at midnight every day to cook the prince's favorite tea eggs, fried dough sticks and milked the cows to prepare breakfast for the prince. After serving the eldest prince, they sent the younger prince to school, and then went to the court to handle various difficult matters for the prince."
The audience realized what was going on without Dongqiang reminding them. Isn't this talking about Dongqiang's father's schedule?
Dong Qiang: "So our hard-working life is hereditary?"
"I haven't finished yet. I run all over the city every noon to buy delicious food for the prince."
“Delivery!”
【Moon cakes from Zhengmingzhai, braised biscuits from Zhimeizhai, stuffed biscuits from Tongjucheng, pot stickers from Tongfuju, and fried noodles from Dingheju.】
The names of dishes from various restaurants in a passage called "Praising the Exquisiteness" were also incorporated into it.
“So many gifts?”
"He was not idle even when the prince was eating, telling jokes to amuse the old man."
“This is crosstalk.”
"After that, there were pancakes and skewers. I also called a singer for the master and paid for his reward out of my own pocket. Every day, I spent a short time with the ladies and prepared flowers for the master to give to each lady."
Dong Qiang: "Hearing you talk about my grandfather's schedule, my father is regressing to his ancestors!"
"Because of this, this treasure was awarded to your ancestor by Prince Li. Later, it was discovered and your ancestor was thrown into prison. Fortunately, Prince Li protected your ancestor and he escaped from prison. He then escaped from the underworld and retired to Jin Province. It has been passed down from generation to generation!"
"what?"
"Cornucopia! Since then your family has become wealthy, and your father has become a millionaire!"
"I almost believed what you said. Our family has such a treasure that is as rich as a country. I don't know how you knew about it."
"That's because your father didn't let you watch it. The old man told me that people who are not blood relatives are not allowed to watch it!"
"Oh, huh? I'm not even related by blood?"
Qi Long: "It's just an excuse!"
"Is there such an excuse?"
"I have, in fact!"
Qi Long said that he was good at calligraphy, so during the Spring Festival, his godfather asked him to come over and write a elegiac couplet.
“Spring Festival couplets!”
"Yes, but I had no inspiration at the time. I asked godfather if there were any treasures in your house. Let me see them. Maybe I'll get some inspiration!"
"You just want money?"
"My godfather said that he would let me open my eyes today, so he took me to see the cornucopia. It was also at that time that he told me the story of the cornucopia. At that time, when we went to your family's treasure house, your father took out the key, a big iron ring, and 365 keys. He tried them one by one, and told me the stories I just told him while trying them. Just when he tried the last one, the lock opened!"
"It's really troublesome."
"Your father took out a black bathtub that looked like the ones used for bathing. I wondered why there was so much excitement. Your father showed the magic of the treasure."
Put a hundred dollars in it, take it out and there is still a hundred dollars underneath, take out another hundred dollars, and there is another hundred dollars. This goes on until you have taken out ten bills. When your father shouts "enough", the treasure bowl will stop.
The pity is that the money cannot be spent as the numbers are all the same.
But it can not only turn into money. Dongqiang's father put some dentures in it, and ten dentures came out. He asked Qilong to take them to the crosstalk club to sing "Taiping Lyrics", which can be regarded as a contribution to traditional culture.
"Can this thing be used as a jade board?"
Qi Long said that his father made his fortune by relying on this treasure bowl. He put one pound of coal in and ten pounds came out, and he sold it, so the treasure bowl was so black.
After gaining some experience, the two prepared to leave.
"As a result, I accidentally bumped into your father, and he sat directly in the treasure bowl. I hurried to help him up, and when I turned around, I saw... Hey, godfather, hurry up and get up?"
"Another one?"
Qi Long supported ten of Dong Qiang's fathers and wanted to shout "Enough", but he shouted "Is that enough?"
As a result, Cornucopia thought it was a provocation and ten more came.
"Ouch!" Qi Long was tired of supporting, and Bao Pen thought it was not enough to continue.
"Ouch!"
Dong Qiang quickly stopped Qi Long: "Stop shouting!"
"I didn't react at the time until more than seventy people came out. Your father, Mr. Gao, you decide which one to keep and which one to leave!"
"I don't think we should keep any of them!"
"Looking at these old men made me happy. I had something to say for the couplet!"
"What is the first couplet?"
"As time goes by, my mother lives longer!"
"Where's the second line?"
"Spring is everywhere, and the house is full of dads!"
Dong Qiang shook his hands and said with a smile: "Go to hell!"
The two brothers took a step back and bowed. At this point, the crosstalk performance ended with an adaptation that incorporated several crosstalk lines and cleverly added padding to the lines without disrupting the rhythm.
The whole audience burst into applause. It was so amazing! This was the most enjoyable version of “Cornucopia” I’ve ever heard!
Not to mention the audience, even backstage, the actors, including Guo and Yu, gave a thumbs up: "This is a damn good job!"
This is Lao Guo’s recent “Cornucopia”. I added some of my own ideas, such as the old man who plays the supporting role in the Guankou has the same routine as his father in the previous part, which makes it more interesting with some padding.
Finally, I am so tired from working overtime.
(End of this chapter)
