Chapter 292 Special Session Opens
After getting off the stage, Zhu Hecong chased after Qi Long: "Uncle Master, did I perform well?"
"I don't really want to talk to you right now," Qi Long joked with him and waved his hand.
To be honest, it's a lot of fun to partner with Zhu Hecong. Many of the ways of delivering jokes are from angles that Qi Long could not have expected. As the funny man, he has to think of himself as the supporting actor and help the supporting actor deliver jokes.
The key point is that many times, Zhu Hecong's bag cannot be turned out. It just falls to the ground, makes a loud noise, and cannot be picked up.
To give another example, his burden is like a period. It's the end of the sentence, and no matter how you turn it over, it won't have much effect. So Qi Long can only use magic to defeat magic, and use a similar burden from another angle to make a chain reaction and throw it out.
This forced him to think like crazy on stage, otherwise he would suddenly become a Tribulation-Realistic God.
The audience was filled with laughter, and Qi Long himself was experiencing it to the fullest, as if he had fought against an evil cultivator and felt completely refreshed after the fight.
But forget about fighting, it’s better to stick with your partner.
Dongqiang also fights against the funny guy, and occasionally turns into an offensive straight guy to fight back, but after all, it's only once. Zhu Hecong has always been.
"Thank you for your hard work!" the actors on the side stage said with a smile.
Qi Long also felt hard-working.
Dong Qiang, who was enjoying the fun, quickly asked Qi Long, "How does it feel when a supporting actor does not perform the jokes as you expected during the introduction?"
"Feeling?" Qi Long thought for a while: "The feeling is that he and Jin Henan are locked together. Don't come out to harm others. I almost couldn't resist it, let alone other comedians. I guess only He Biao can deal with him. He is a stage lunatic who can defeat magic with magic!"
"Eh? Let them try it next time!" Luan Yunping, who was standing by, thought this was a good suggestion and thought they could arrange it in the small theater later.
Zhu Hecong: "Brother Biao, you don't hit people on stage, right? Don't let me be whole and sound when I go up, and when I leave the stage, my head will turn into tofu pudding, and I will have to use a spoon to scoop it out when I want to go home!"
He used the Tianjin dialect from his hometown, which had a stronger comedic effect and all the actors backstage burst into laughter.
"Please make some arrangements for me. Dongqiang will go out for a two-week trip next month to shoot our company's travel program. Please arrange two mixed groups for me so that I can go and have fun!" Qi Long said to Luan Yunping.
Luan Yunping: "Uncle, who do you want to partner with? Just tell me. Who can disagree?"
"Let's talk about it in detail later!" Qi Long winked.
He will drop in to help during the second week of Dongqiang's tour, but the help cannot be in vain. The program crew wants to create a good effect for the show, so they let Qi Long and Dongqiang suddenly go to a city where there are many overseas students to perform a crosstalk show.
Qi Long thought that Deyun had toured and performed overseas before, and Luan Yunping was more familiar with those theaters, so he planned to take him to discuss the performance venue with the program team.
While we were traveling, I suddenly told him that we have a special performance in this city tomorrow, which should catch Dongqiang off guard!
But there is no need to worry about the performance results, Qi Long is confident about this. He and Dong Qiang will definitely be performing familiar works that do not require much rehearsal, in order to ensure the quality of the performance and not damage their own reputation!
But before that, there will be a special crosstalk show in Shanghai, which will have a longer performance duration.
In the past, Qi Long and his team's special shows usually had six programs, with the two of them performing on the second, fourth and sixth, and three resident performers on the first, third and fifth. This time the performance time has been extended, with two more programs added, making a total of eight programs. Qi Long and Dong Qiang plan to perform an extra group crosstalk and have their nephew perform a mandarin jacket or something.
There is no need to rehearse the old crosstalk by Qi Long and Dong Qiang, but we have to talk about the one with his nephew. A special show is not a variety show. Even if there are mistakes, they can be edited. They were all recorded by the audience holding up their mobile phones. Whether the performance was good or bad that night can be seen on the Internet.
Time flies. During the preparation period for the special show, Qi Long recorded a variety show "Detective" and "Let's Run" once, and the rest of the time was spent preparing for the special show.
As with every previous special show, I watched all the guest performers’ programs and gave some of my own small suggestions, which you don’t have to listen to. If the other party finds it useful, then they can listen. If not, then don’t listen. It’s not a big deal.
The special show started at 4pm. Many people were afraid of traffic jams in Shanghai, so they lined up outside the theater at 2pm.
That was the hottest time of the afternoon. Fearing heatstroke, Qi Long paid out of his own pocket to contact a company that frequently cooperated with "Extreme Man" to customize work meals. He asked the company to boil two full pots of mung bean water, which he put in the refrigerator to cool slightly, and then delivered to outside the venue to distribute to crosstalk fans.
After Dongqiang found out, he gave half of the money to Qilong.
This move of the two was highly praised by crosstalk fans, who posted their photos on the Internet to add to their praises. They always treated their crosstalk fans warmly and sincerely, and this never changed because of their rising status and fame.
In the super topic, the screen is already full of crosstalk fans who went to the special show showing off their iced mung bean water.
"Teacher Qi is so gentle. I cried my heart out. His mung bean water is divided into sugar-added and non-sugar-added varieties, which takes into consideration people like me who are trying to lose weight!"
"Is it possible that Dongqiang is the one who is losing weight? After all, he is a health promotion ambassador!"
"Look at this mung bean water. I'm afraid people won't feel safe drinking it, so I sealed it in a cup instead of just leaving it there for everyone to drink. How thoughtful!"
"The scalpers drank and said they wanted tickets, didn't they?"
However, this behavior has also received some criticism. For example, Hou Erye, who made shocking remarks on the Internet recently, did not jump out, but a fat man named Li Zhai, who was live streaming with him, sitting next to him and shouting at him, and taking advantage of the power of others, came out to make trouble.
It's obvious that this clown is trying to get traffic. When he posts a video, he adds terms like Deyun Society, Qi Long, and Guo Degang.
In the video, he first played a clip of Guo Degang's crosstalk in those days, saying what to do if a crosstalk actor can't sell tickets? Buy beer and get a ticket for free, and the beer is cheaper than outside.
Then the fat man showed up and mocked Qi Long and Dong Qiang: "What you two said is no different from what Xiao Guo said. Hey, the tickets can't be sold, so you use mung bean water to benefit the fans?"
This guy has almost written "蹭" on his forehead. He obviously can't tell right from wrong and talks about things that go against the timeline.
Obviously, they had bought tickets and arrived early, but Qi Long and Dong Qiang were worried that the fans would get sunburned and have heatstroke, so they prepared some mung bean water.
In his mouth, it became using free mung bean water to attract people to buy tickets for the special show.
For a moment, many people rushed to the other party's comment section and started to criticize him.
In response to this, Gao Dongqiang, who was in the hotel, started a live broadcast: "Everyone listen to me, all those who say stupid things on the Internet that you can't trust, there are only two possibilities, either they are stupid and don't know the actual situation and say nonsense, or they are bad and just want to get black traffic. If you scold him, he might be as happy as a grandson.
As for whether he is stupid, bad, or both bad and stupid, you and I both know it, and we can't let him get his wish, understand, don't comment on it, report it instead."
Compared to Qi Long, who has no social media account, Dong Qiang is obviously more experienced in dealing with these troublesome things on the Internet.
As a result, the video was taken down and Fatty Li jumped up and down and cursed. Then, because of cursing, he was reported and his live broadcast room was banned.
Just as Dongqiang said, some people, the more you pay attention to them, the more excited they become, they just want to be scolded, why do you want to go over and scold them to make them feel good?
Just think about it, if you slap this shameless person, he can grab your hand and lick your fingers while saying it feels good. How disgusting is that?
Fatty Li was unwilling to give up, so he changed his number and fought again. However, Qi Long and Dong Qiang's fans no longer had time to deal with this jumping clown. They were all waiting, waiting for the crosstalk video recorded by their friends who had entered the venue after the special show.
Everyone was still joking, saying that we also have requirements for watching videos, and we hope that the audience in the first three rows will not shake their hands when recording the video, and that the video will not be out of focus and must be clear.
It’s better to sing softly when singing, so that we can hear clearly what is being said on the stage?
There were quite a few requests for free, but some people actually agreed to it by showing off their tickets and green bean water. Let's help each other. Today I will help you shoot your special show, and tomorrow you will help me shoot their performance, so that everyone can see the fun crosstalk. The first show was by Gao Hecai and Sun Jiuxiang. The two of them, who formed a temporary partnership, performed a crosstalk about a passage from "On Boxing".
As soon as he came on stage, Gao Hecai joked with everyone: "We don't take up much of your time, everyone, just treat us as the models, we will stand there and help you focus your camera and video camera, ok!"
"That's not a good idea!" Sun Jiuxiang shook his head: "It's fine for me, but you're like Master, so short. When Master Uncle comes up, he still has to adjust the focus!"
A height joke, which also involves Guo Degang, and the opening punchline went off smoothly. Everyone listened to this segment of "On Boxing" happily. Then it was time for Qi Long and Dong Qiang's first show, which was also a new show called "Common Problems Throughout the Ages"!
"Next, please enjoy the crosstalk "Common Problems in Ancient and Modern Times", performed by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang!"
"Great!!!" There were cheers from all over the place.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang thanked their two nephews for their hard work at the entrance and then went on stage.
"That was my two nephews. One is Gao Hecai, a rare disciple who has left Deyun Society but is still on Guo Degang's family tree. He is the owner of Xiaolehui and is in Shanghai. We are sure to have many Shanghai local audiences here today. If you are free, you can go and show your support. I will thank you on his behalf!"
Letting Xiao Gao come is to advertise for him and get everyone's support.
"Thank you!" Dongqiang also bowed.
Qi Long continued, "The other one is Jiuxiang, a rare partner who became famous but didn't make much money. I brought him here to participate in more special shows!"
"Yes"
"Please give me more praise, let's get back to Gao Hecai. He calls me uncle, but he is actually older than me. It's a matter of seniority that he calls me uncle. Even his younger brother Gao Dongqiang calls me uncle!"
"Yes, huh? Who is it?" Dong Qiang stretched out his hand and pushed Qi Long.
Qi Long laughed: "Just kidding, isn't this just a topic that leads to your name?"
“It’s not that extended.”
"This is my partner, Gao Dongqiang. Now it's our turn to perform this crosstalk for everyone."
"That's right!"
"I have recently researched some new things and plan to share them with you all. I discovered that people in this era are more or less sick!"
Dong Qiang pushed him: "You are the one who is sick. How can you come up here and talk like that!"
Qi Long was speechless: "Just listen to me, you have some mental illness, for example, mysophobia!"
"Oh, you mean this!"
"Yes, for example, Dongqiang has a little bit of mysophobia."
Dong Qiang nodded: "I like to be clean."
"When people go to restaurants to eat, they go early rather than late. For example, if this restaurant opens at 10 o'clock, he will go there at 10 o'clock. Why? At that time, the chopsticks, spoons, plates and bowls have been kept in the disinfection cabinet overnight for hygiene reasons. He will eat at that time!"
"Hey, that's right!"
"Even if you go to take a bath, you have to wash your hair in a pool. He is a mysophobe. The bathhouse opens at five o'clock. He is outside the bathhouse door at 4:30. He takes off his clothes and pants and waits there."
"My illness is not just mysophobia, it's also exhibitionism!" Dong Qiang retorted.
The audience burst into laughter.
Qi Long continued to say that when Dong Qiang went to find a lady, he would always be the first one to go.
"I've already found a prostitute, and I'm still a germaphobe? You're just talking nonsense!"
Qi Long waved his hand: "Let me give you an example. Dongqiang doesn't have mysophobia, he has obsessive-compulsive disorder!"
"That's a little bit!"
"He strictly sets the time for himself, such as what time should I read, what time should I practice, what time should I work out, and what time should I take a shower."
"I know that. It's time to take a bath at 4:30. Take off your clothes and wait at the door of the bathhouse!" Dong Qiang interrupted.
The familiar joke's unexpected reversal made the audience burst into laughter.
Many audiences who listen to Qi Long and Dong Qiang’s crosstalk have found that if they want to shoot videos without shaking, they must use professional equipment.
Today, the guys and girls in the front row who agreed to record videos for people were all holding some kind of anti-shake gimbal, laughing so hard that they were bent over, and the camera still maintained balance after a slight shake.
Qi Long: "I was just joking, but I'm serious. For example, Dongqiang wakes up at a fixed time every day. He opens his eyes at 8 o'clock every morning. No matter how late he stayed up the day before, he will definitely wake up at 8 o'clock!"
"That's true!"
"Early breakfast at 8:30, not a minute late!"
“I’m used to it!”
"The most important thing is that people have fixed toilet and bowel movement times!"
"When?"
"Seven thirty in the morning!"
Dongqiang pushed Qilong hard and said, "Yes, wait a minute. I will get up at 8 o'clock. I will have a bowel movement at 7:30 on time?"
The whole audience burst into laughter, and this time, the gimbal could hardly control its shaking!
This crosstalk talks about some modern urban diseases, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, trypophobia and other minor psychological illnesses. Similarities can be found in ancient people. The prelude at the beginning talks about some common modern diseases.
It’s boring to just talk about the disease. You have to combine the disease with a specific person, make it into a burden and throw it out. That’s what makes it interesting!
(End of this chapter)
