Chapter 246: Evil Apprentice: "If I Were Guo Qilin"
The students came on stage one by one. Among them, the little shrimp that Qi Long liked performed well. He was still in the "Name of Dishes" show. This time, when he named the dishes, he sounded very greedy. People could taste the flavors of the dishes without drooling.
I passed the assessment successfully and entered Deyun Training Institute.
The interview is quite serious, but it is obviously unrealistic to expect a group of crosstalk performers to be serious all the time, so they occasionally make jokes.
A student came up and sang a passage from the song "Taiping". He sang it quite well, singing when necessary and restraining when necessary, especially the crucial nasal humming in "Taiping Lyrics", which he performed quite well.
But right after he finished singing, Guo Degang looked at his apprentice's senior brother in the commentary booth with a serious face: "Who gave this pass card?"
After hearing this, the actors on stage were shocked, and the apprentices were silent.
Shaobing stood up in confusion: "Master, I gave you one!"
"Who else?"
Two more disciples stood up nervously, and Guo Degang suddenly smiled: "That's a good thing!"
"Master, you scared me to death!" Shaobing shouted with a look of grievance on his face.
Guo Degang laughed heartily. Even at such an old age, he still felt happy about successfully playing a prank.
"You are really like a master. At that time, Dongqiang and I followed the two masters to perform in theaters outside the city. After the performance, we, as little apprentices, helped to clean the theater. When we came back, the master had a stern face. Dongqiang was so scared that he just said: "Good cleaning!" Qi Long complained.
Mr. Hou Yaowen is a person who likes to play around, and this habit of teasing his disciples is passed down from generation to generation!
"How dare you say that to me? My apprentice was recording a variety show with you. He has become a nationally renowned fool. Because of you, Qin Xiaoxian has become Qin Xiaosha!" Guo Degang said, pointing at Qin Xiaoxian who was sitting in the corner.
In terms of his crosstalk level, Lao Qin is not yet at the level where he can sit there and evaluate the students’ crosstalk, but he is very popular, so he came as well.
However, he knew his own limitations and never spoke. When he came to class, he listened carefully to the comments of every uncle and uncle in the school and the suggestions of his senior classmates to improve himself. That was why he remained invisible, so Lao Guo pointed him out.
"Hahaha, we crosstalk performers have rules. We can only play pranks on crosstalk performers. If I don't tease him, who else can I tease?"
Lao Qin's development is indeed good. Nowadays, there are fans of "Let's Run" on video websites. They edited a video with a very high number of views, which is "Qi Long's 300,000 Ways to Tease Qin Xiaoxian", which contains various ways of interrupting Qin Xiaoxian's speech and various unexpected ways of slapping him, and the number of views has soared.
Qin Xiaoxian's popularity is also rising, but he always remembers what Qi Long said when he taught him the traditional live performance "The Sheep Climbing the Tree", that crosstalk is the root. Recently, his professional level of crosstalk has also improved significantly.
In particular, he let go and brought the image of the "traitor" in the variety show to the stage. He made up a lot of jokes and gags based on the character of the traitor, saying that his master and partner were not good enough and he wanted to find better ones, thus confirming his identity as an evil disciple.
During the backstage performance of the tour some time ago, he said that his master was not good and his clapper talk was not as good as Uncle Qi Long’s, and he wanted to learn clapper talk from his uncle.
"You want to knock the door down?" Guo Degang was surprised.
Qin Xiaoxian said aggrievedly: "Master, you look down on your disciple too much. Do you think I am the kind of person who loves to betray others?"
"Isn't it?"
"Master, even if I go to learn clapper talk from Uncle Qi Long, I will never forget you!"
Guo Degang was puzzled: "What does that mean?"
Qin Xiaoxian said something shocking: "Master and disciple, let's worship together and kowtow three times to my uncle Qi Long. You will be the eldest senior brother and I will be the second junior brother."
Lao Guo kicked him away and said, "Tian Gang, I'm Qi Long's senior brother, and you want me to be his apprentice?"
This clip not only made the entire audience burst into laughter, but it was later made into a video, which delighted everyone who watched it.
The reputation of Qi Long as the "rebel king" is becoming more and more famous. It seems that he does not want to be the Emperor of Deyun, but rather wants to be the Emperor Emeritus of Deyun!
This was of course just for the netizens' amusement, but Deyun Club did not miss the opportunity and organized a special crosstalk show by Qi Long and Dong Qiang. The guest performers were Zhang Helun and Lang Heyan, the two who composed skits about their master; Guo Qilin and Yan Hexiang, the supporting actors who always used the funny actor's father to attack the funny actor; and the evil disciple Qin Xiaoxian and his partner Sun Jiuxiang.
When the cast was released, the audience joked that the rebels had openly gathered. Not only that, they also held the crown prince hostage!
A few days after this interview, Qi Long and Dong Qiang’s “Anti-King” special show will be held!
The first person to appear was Qin Xiaoxian. The show was called "If I Were Guo Qilin". At the beginning he said that Guo Qilin was a bad son and couldn't even control himself, forcing himself to call him Master every day. If I were Guo Qilin, I would definitely not do that.
"Just imagine if I were Guo Qilin!"
Sun Jiuxiang raised his head and looked at him: "Then you are a bit tall!"
"Hi, I follow my biological father Yu Qianbei." Sun Jiuxiang was shocked: "How dare you say anything?"
The crosstalk performance is to criticize Guo Qilin and say what would happen if he were Guo Degang's son.
"If I were Guo Qilin, I would definitely be happy to eat vegetables if my father asked me to. Not only would I eat them, I would only eat green ones. Unripe tomatoes, green ones. I would only buy green snacks and drinks. I would only give my father a green hat!"
Sun Jiuxiang was puzzled: "Why?"
"I have to remind my dad, Dad, you might be cheating on me. I'm so tall that I look like Uncle Yu's child!"
A crosstalk that not only choreographs Lao Guo, but also Guo Qilin.
Some people say that Guo Qilin does not take care of his body and has gout at a young age. If he were Guo Qilin, he would definitely not be like this.
"why?"
"Because I eat green food, I have to remind my dad that you are not necessarily my dad."
The jokes were thrown repeatedly and the audience laughed repeatedly. In the middle of the show, Guo Qilin came up with a stool and knocked on it, making the atmosphere even more lively.
After fantasizing about it, Qin Xiaoxian felt more and more that it would be great if he was Guo Degang's biological son, so he began to make plans on the stage.
If you want to be Guo Degang's son, there are two technical difficulties, one is Guo Qilin and the other is Guo Degang himself.
This is the scene that Zhang Heqing played before. He wanted to kidnap Luan Yunping and then become the vice president himself. He also kidnapped someone's son and treated him as his own son.
But there is a problem here. The vice president can be appointed at will, but the son cannot.
"I've thought about it. As long as I make my master demented, he won't know who his son is. Then I will be his son."
This is the innovative part of his crosstalk based on Qi Long’s suggestion, using various means to make Guo Degang become demented!
"I nailed his slippers to the ground with a nail. When he gets up, I step on them. If the slippers don't get up, he will fall out and hit his head on the ground. He might even become demented!"
"Oh, that's a great trick of yours. Did it work?"
"No, who would have thought that the slippers under his bed in his bedroom were not his, but Hou Zhen's. Uncle Hou was thrown down and is now in the hospital. There are six on his left hand and seven on his right hand. Hehehe, the pills are crunching."
The second trick: "In their bathroom, I made the floor slippery so that he would slip and fall. But who would have thought that their bathroom was used by Mr. Qian?"
There are two similar jokes, but the third one is different. That’s the joy that keeps the audience guessing!
The third move: "When he's walking on the main road, I'll arrange for a group of beautiful women to wave at him from across the street. Master, that old rogue, he'll definitely have to look at me. I'll arrange for a telephone pole in front of him so he can just bump into it!"
"No wonder Master's Wife was neglected. The one in the bathroom is Master Qian, and the one in the bedroom is Master Hou." Sun Jiuxiang also took the risk, and the whole audience laughed even louder after he flipped the bag. "Did it work?"
"No, Master is an old rascal. He didn't just look at me. He rushed directly across the street. As a result, Uncle Qi Long rushed even faster and was hit by the car. Oh, you couldn't even watch that!"
"Ah? Such a bad crash!"
"I'm not looking down on my uncle, I'm looking down on my master. I'm looking up at a girl. I'm Guo Degang. Do you want an autograph?"
"Master is lying there, and Master is still flirting with girls?"
"You know that Master values women over friends. He raised his head and said to the girl, 'You like Qi Long? Right there, that piece of rotten meat. I'll go get his autograph for you. (Raising his head and shouting) Qi Long, don't die yet. Give the beautiful lady an autograph before you die."
"Master is not as tall as Uncle lying down when he is standing?"
Qi Long, who was waiting backstage, laughed: "Hahahaha, this is really fearless, he was so timid when he talked about us before!"
"Of course not, this is Qin Xiaoxian who only lives for one day!" Dong Qiang commented happily.
The final result is that Guo Degang is suffering from dementia, but the problem is, who has to take care of him and call him son?
Qin Xiaoxian pointed at Sun Jiuxiang and took advantage of him: "Son, you are here, son, hurry up and read the Twenty-Four Histories, I have asked my twenty-four apprentices to play them for you!"
Sun Jiuxiang pushed him: "I'll go to yours!"
(End of this chapter)
