Chapter 195 When the teacher meets the supporting actor
Anyone who has experienced the non-mainstream period of Penguin Chat Software will have more or less some dark history in their space and chats that seems embarrassing now. They will find it hard to believe what I was thinking at that time.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang's mention of this brought back everyone's memories.
Of course, there are more memories about Penguin Chat Software, including: celebrity friends!
"At that time, you could often see celebrities' QQ numbers written in their posts and chats. You could add them. One person added He Ling, and another added Zhou Jue Lun. I recorded a show with Mr. He a while ago, and I found out that he didn't have Penguin Chat at all!"
Then there are the rumors that are easily believed by naive netizens.
For example: Today is the birthday of the daughter of a certain group boss or the daughter of a certain king, and you can do this and that just by forwarding it.
Today the sun is directly shining on the earth. Please forward this message to tell people to turn off their computers today, otherwise something bad will happen.
Also: The most outrageous rumor is that the Penguin chat software, the one that can be upgraded while idle, with the stars, the moon, and the sun, is rumored to be a mode designed by foreigners to consume our electricity. Everyone, please don't idle the level, you've been tricked by foreigners!
Every time Qi Long mentioned a story, the audience would chuckle. These were everyone's common memories when the Internet was just emerging. Even the young people who didn't have any memories found it funny because they felt that no one would believe such things, but the fact that so many people believed it felt absurd.
This was also Qi Long's idea when he wrote this crosstalk. He hoped that even audiences who did not understand it would be able to understand it and have fun with it, rather than limiting the scope of the audience.
The crosstalk continued, saying that during their school years, if students made mistakes, teachers had several ways to discipline them. The first of which was corporal punishment. If you didn't pay attention in class, you would be made to stand and listen to the class.
"This method of punishment works for most people, but not for Dong Qiang!"
"I'm not afraid of being tired!"
"No, you forgot. When you stood up and stood behind the table, it was like going home. It directly awakened your memory of supporting the teacher. The teacher was speaking at the top, and you were supporting him at the side!"
"Ouch, I really can't remember it clearly!"
"I remember that the teacher was giving a lecture and you were whispering in the background. He said today we are going to talk about arithmetic progressions. You heard it and thought: Hey, that's new!"
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Dongqiang, what are you mumbling about? Do you know arithmetic progression?
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Oh, I really don't know this, can you tell me more? -
I was just about to say, why are you disturbing everyone? If you waste one minute alone, that means fifty minutes for fifty people!
Qi Long plays two roles in this character. When he plays the teacher, he looks serious, and when he plays Dong Qiang, he looks cute and silly.
Speaking of wasting time, it resonated with many viewers. I think all teachers across the country have said this, right?
Qi Long turned around and imitated Dong Qiang: Oh, this is a math problem! -
Shut up! No talking in class!
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So you've been moving your mouth so fast these days, are you eating? -
Get out of here! -
Fuck you!
The audience in the small theater laughed. Dong Qiang said: "The supporting role gene has been awakened!"
"The key is that the teacher speaks without any baggage, but you still make trouble for him. Since then, the school has made a school rule just because of you!"
"What school rules?"
"No supporting roles in class!"
Dong Qiang waved his hand: "Not really, just don't let me stand up!"
The first form of punishment is useless to Dongqiang. There is another form of punishment: writing a self-criticism.
"And he has a word count requirement for the review. We have to write thousands of words, and some are even longer. Dongqiang talks in class, so how can he write a 3,000-word review? Hey, he came up with a good idea."
"What's the idea?"
"Put the crosstalk lines in the examination, teacher. I'm sorry, you just treat me as a reckless person. Oh no, I don't deserve to be called a reckless person. There was a reckless person in the Three Kingdoms of the Later Han Dynasty."
"Memorize the lines?" Dongqiang was surprised.
The reckless man was too long, Qi Long did not recite the whole thing, he recited a little bit, and then continued to read and check:
"Oh, I actually talked back to the teacher. I am not a human. No, I don't deserve the title of not a human. I remember that there was a not a human in the Three Kingdoms of the Later Han Dynasty, and that person was Cao Cao. I am not a human, I am a dog. No, I am not even as good as a dog. The southern continent is Jambuzhou, the northern continent is Juluzhou, the eastern continent is Shenzhou, and the western continent is Hezhou."
This inspiration naturally came from the improvisation of Eight Panels by Deyun Douxiaoshe and Guo Degang a year ago. The audience can both understand it and enjoy it.
The audience applauded as they watched Qi Long constantly distinguish the characters by facial features and speak fluent lines.
After that, Dongqiang asked, "What did the teacher say after reading my examination?"
"Tell them to call your parents! This is the harshest punishment. Dongqiang felt guilty. His father was very strict with him. He would really beat him if he made a mistake. He didn't dare to call his parents, so he thought of a way. He went to the street and paid a 70-year-old chess-playing old man to come to the school and play the role of his parent!"
"Isn't the actor they hired too old?"
“The teacher was surprised when he saw your parents: Are these your parents?”
“I can see the problem right away!”
"It's my parents. Why? It's not good for my father to have a child in his old age?" "What did the teacher say?"
"The teacher took the actor you invited to the side, with a look of shock, confusion, doubt, resentment, anger, etc. on his face. After struggling for a long time, the teacher slowly said: Dad, you have such a big illegitimate child outside?"
"I invited the teacher's father?" Dongqiang exclaimed.
The brothers took a step back and bowed in thanks.
The main part of this job is the "Eight Screens" which has been heard so many times by the audience. It is basically the introductory line for crosstalk actors. Any crosstalk actor who studies crosstalk seriously can recite it!
So the first job for many children is to make eight-panel screens.
Qi Long and Dong Qiang don’t often use these kids for work, so today they adapted the structure of “Eight Screens” and put them in the inspection, which gave them a different experience.
In fact, Qi Long’s idea was to add more traditional crosstalk scenes to this crosstalk, telling the story of a crosstalk actor making his teachers and classmates in high school laugh and cry through his crosstalk scenes.
Currently, this work is only in its initial stage, with only two parts: the supporting role and "Eight Screens". In the future, there may be more designs that integrate crosstalk into the story!
This part is not long, and as the closing actor in the small theater, he must perform a backstage performance. This time, Qi Long expanded on the previous quick-paced book: the story of Xiao Ming milking cows.
It is said that Dongqiang went to Europe to travel and came across a live cow milking activity. He also participated in it, but after milking for a long time, he only milked a little bit.
The staff pulled him away awkwardly and told him: "That's a bull!"
This bull could be the bottom line, but Dongqiang noticed that the time was not enough, so he didn't answer: "Go to hell."
But: "I can't tell a bull from a cow?"
Qi Long knew it as soon as he heard it. Dong Qiang glanced at his watch and found that the time was not up yet. It didn’t matter, he could continue talking.
"Yes, you were also very anxious at that time, thinking that it was not possible. I had to study it and spend a lot of money to buy a cow to study the difference between male and female cows!"
"Does this thing still need to be studied?"
"That's right, the ranch is in a dilemma. There are plenty of cows here, but not many bulls. They are all for breeding and cannot be sold! You got angry and said you only want one male and one female."
"I'm so stubborn!"
"I have an idea. There is a cow that just gave birth to a calf, and it gave birth to a bull. You can buy both the mother and the calf. When the calf grows up, you can study the characteristics of the bull cow, right?"
"That's a good idea!"
Dongqiang was leading two cows home, but on the way he ran into the European gang that doesn't wash their hands. Their hands were black. When they saw that he was leading two cows, they intercepted him immediately.
He bought it with his own money, so he couldn't bear to let it go and kept holding on to it.
Many people from the "Don't Wash Your Hands" gang came and beat Dongqiang up, but Dongqiang was also tough and did not fall down even after being beaten for two hours.
"Am I so powerful?"
"The people tied to the electric poles got angry because you didn't cooperate, so they took off all your clothes and pants. In the end, one of them was kind enough to leave the calf with you, but the rest of your valuables, all the clothes you wore, and the big cow you bought at a high price were taken away!"
"How miserable!"
"It wasn't until the next morning that someone found you and called the police to rescue you. The police covered you with clothes and shouted with guilt: Sorry, we are too late! When you were put down, you couldn't even stand!"
"Of course not. I've been tied up all night!"
"But you were still furious and slapped the little calf with your hand!"
Dongqiang didn't understand: "Why should I hit it?"
"I'm not your mother!" Qi Long shouted while slapping his hands.
Dong Qiang pushed him and said, "Go to hell!"
The audience was stunned for three seconds, then burst into laughter. Amidst cheers, Qi Long and Dong Qiang bowed and left the stage, ending the main and encore performances of the small theater!
(End of this chapter)
