Chapter 158 The Disadvantages of Being Senior
Qi Long’s Spring Festival Gala magic background board ended at about 10:30. After the two returned to Dongqiang’s home and ate dumplings, they received a call from Shaobing, asking them if they wanted to come out and set off firecrackers.
These days, setting off firecrackers is prohibited in urban areas, but there are designated areas for setting off firecrackers.
According to Shaobing, they got tens of thousands of dollars worth of fireworks and various firecrackers and prepared to go to the fireworks area to have a good time.
Dongqiang, who was bored at home and was being urged to get married, immediately said he wanted to go after receiving the news. Qi Long, who had to catch a flight in the early morning, also followed. As soon as the two of them drove to the empty fireworks area, they saw a group of fellow apprentices surrounding them.
When Qi Long saw this scene, he suddenly remembered that he was an elder.
"Oh no! It's time to spend the money!" Qi Long said and took out his cell phone.
Sure enough, as soon as the car stopped, the door was opened by the most active Shaobing: "Uncles, your nephew wishes you a happy new year!"
At the back, Luan Yunping, Guo Qilin, Yue Yunpeng, Kong Yunlong, Tao Yang, Meng Hetang, Zhou Jiuliang, Zhang Jiuling, and Wang Jiulong all crowded over and started to wish everyone a happy new year and wishing them a happy new year.
The most outrageous one was Cao Heyang. He took a piece of cloth and ran over, put it on the ground and immediately knelt down: "Uncle, I kowtow to you!"
Qi Long and Dong Qiang hurried forward, smiled and helped him up. Qi Long waved his phone: "You just want a red envelope? Here you go!"
"Hahahaha, when we were about to get off the car, Qi Long told me that he was going to give out money. I didn't react at first!" Dong Qiang said with a smile.
The two of them took out their mobile phones, created a group face to face, and sent several big red envelopes to the group, letting them try their luck.
Even so, the nephews did not intend to let Qi Long and Dong Qiang go. They also made video calls to their fellow apprentices who did not stay in the imperial capital for the New Year. When the call was connected, they came to Qi Long and Dong Qiang and said, "Hurry up, wish your uncle a happy new year!"
The nephew on the other end of the phone immediately knelt down and asked for a red envelope, which gave the two of them a lot of gold coins.
The most outrageous ones are Yue Yunpeng and Luan Yunping. They both have apprentices. Their apprentices have to call Qi Long and Dong Qiang "Masters". They are just shouting "Grandpa" loudly, kneeling three times and kowtowing nine times. If they don't give money to their grandchildren, they are not grandchildren.
"Xiao Yue, why are you here too? Where's Sun Yue?"
Yue Yunpeng and Sun Yue also had performances on the Spring Festival Gala. It seemed that they rushed over here to set off firecrackers with everyone right after the show ended.
"Sun Yue knows what the scene will be like if he comes, so he won't come. Hahahaha!" Yue Yunpeng laughed.
Qi Long pulled him over and said, "You happened to be here. I really want to ask you a question. I remember your Spring Festival Gala program was about couplets. How come it became roasted chicken?"
Everyone around burst into laughter.
During the live broadcast of the Spring Festival Gala, after Qi Long finished the magic show with the background board, it was time for Yue Yunpeng and Sun Yue to perform a crosstalk. As a result, the two of them performed a magic trick crosstalk and turned it into a roast chicken, which was extremely awkward.
Yue Yunpeng, who was so proud just now, immediately lost his smile: "The program went wrong, and I was asked to delay it for five minutes. I couldn't even lay out the groundwork for five minutes, so I thought of the magic trick."
He covered his face, looking uncomfortable.
But when he felt uncomfortable, everyone was happy and laughed at him.
He also mentioned it in different ways, for example, what are they going to eat for the New Year's Eve dinner tonight. Guo Qilin said that his family had booked the New Year's Eve dinner outside, and it would feature the special Imperial Capital Roast Duck.
Qi Long came over and said, "Yes, you said the specialty of the imperial capital is roast duck, Yueyue, why did you change it to roast chicken?"
After a while, he asked when those who were away would return home, and Yue Yunpeng mentioned that he would return to Henan Province tomorrow.
"The specialty of Henan Province is braised noodles, Yueyue!" Qi Long just started.
The people around him said in unison: "Why do you want to turn into a roast chicken?"
"Hahahahahaha!"
This Spring Festival Gala was really interesting. Nicometti made the magic show as funny as a language program should be. Yue Yunpeng turned into an awkward roast chicken in the language program. The two sides exchanged this.
Looking at Yue Yunpeng with a helpless look on his face, Qi Long was happy.
Although I lost some money on this trip, I gained happiness!
After that, everyone started setting off firecrackers. Qi Long specifically instructed the steady Luan Yunping and Zhou Jiuliang to hold Kong Yunlong back and not let him have too much fun, as no one wanted to go to the hospital together on such a happy New Year.
Fireworks exploded in the air. Qi Long made a video call to his girlfriend and took her to watch the New Year's fireworks.
"Uncle, I have a question. How should my aunt address you? According to my master's wife, she has to call you uncle too!" Shaobing, the most cheerful person in the audience, who was like a wild dog that had broken free from its reins, asked curiously after Qi Long finished his call.
Gao Dongqiang said: "I know this. When they were on the phone, Qi Long would say: Aunt, what are you doing? The other side said: Uncle, I'm making dumplings. No one will suffer any loss!"
Qi Long glared: "I call my girlfriend auntie?"
"Isn't she Zhang Wanyi? The last word makes it seem intimate!"
Qi Long nodded: "That's right, you don't know that your uncle Dong Qiang likes independent women. He likes to ask, do you want to be strong? If someone says yes, he will say no, because your strength is coming!"
"Hahahahaha!"
The group of people stayed together until after two o'clock, and even went to a McDonald's which was open all day to eat some hamburgers. Then they dispersed, some went home, and some went to catch the bus.
On the first day of the first lunar month, the Tianjin Deyun Society’s special Spring Festival Gala was broadcast. This was a stage show that was recorded in advance, even before the closing ceremony. Qi Long and Dong Qiang also had programs in it.
On that day, Qi Long's family of three watched the Spring Festival Variety Show.
However, Qi Long's parents did not come to see him, but to see their future daughter-in-law. The Drum Music Society also had a performance, and they were very fond of this daughter-in-law whom they had never met before, so they asked Qi Long to try to bring her back to meet him next year.
Qi Long also agreed. If their relationship is stable, they should meet each other's parents.
Soon, it was Qi Long and Dong Qiang's turn. Their program was "Learning Foreign Languages", a program based on traditional programs.
The evening party crosstalk was fast-paced. Qi Long started by introducing: "Many people say that I never bring Dongqiang with me when I appear on this variety show or that variety show. There is no other way. Many of those shows are recorded in other places, and it is inconvenient to take pets on the plane!"
"Is this reasonable? I'm your pet!"
"Just kidding, just kidding. Ah, actually Dongqiang has his own career plan. Today I'm going to tell you something. Dongqiang is making movies. He made three last year!"
"Which three?"
"You play an important role in the first movie, and it's called 'The Widow'!"
"Do I play the widow well?"
"You play the widow's husband!" Qi Long waved his hand.
"Ah?" Dong Qiang opened his mouth wide: "Not as good as the widow? I'm playing a dead person?"
"Yes, the first shot of the movie is you."
"Wow!" "You are on a monument with a photo on it!"
"I died right after I came on stage? What's the point of playing such an important role? I just showed my face."
In the second film, he played the villain's father.
"The man behind it?"
"No, no, no, that villain is so cruel and ruthless. He killed his father, skinned him, broke his bones, and burned his body!"
"Do I still have to die?"
"The first scene in the movie is when the police officer receives a report and finds your minced meat."
"I'm playing a piece of minced meat?"
The third one is a horror film, which tells the story of a ghost who killed a man and made his flesh into meat buns. Dongqiang plays an important role in it.
"What role?"
"filling!"
"Last time you showed your flesh, but this time you have to be covered by skin, and you can't even show your flesh?"
After a small opening, he got to the point: "I am different. I have no intention of developing in the film and television industry. I want to deepen my roots in the crosstalk industry. I want my crosstalk to go beyond the north, beyond China, beyond Asia, and beyond the world. I want to perform crosstalk abroad."
“Can foreigners understand it?”
"So we have to learn foreign languages. I've already started learning and have made some breakthrough progress. You should also hurry up and learn, otherwise when I go abroad I will only be able to do stand-up comedy."
This got to the point. After Qi Long finished speaking, Dong Qiang didn't believe it and asked him to show it.
Qi Long suppressed his throat and sang a bel canto Italian song "Bread from the Gods": [panis angelicus]
His bel canto is very unprofessional, the kind that requires suppressing the throat while singing, not the kind that bel canto musicians sing with their voices open. Singing like this will make the throat very tired, and it is only for fooling the layman and is good enough for the crosstalk stage.
The audience applauded, and Dongqiang exclaimed: "You really can do it? Then please teach me, what is the first sentence?"
Qi Longyi's translation is very simple: "Give you food. Why should I give you food? I'm afraid you will starve to death. So this first sentence, if you use our Chinese pronunciation, you can find that it is sung like this: I picked the fruit because I was afraid you would die."
"I picked the fruit because I was afraid you would die?"
"Yes, if I pick the fruit for you, can't you eat it? Of course, just eating the fruit is not enough, there is a second sentence."
"How do you sing the second line?"
"Fei is afraid that you will die, so he cooks rice and makes steamed buns."
"What does this mean?"
"The one flying in the sky is afraid that you will die. That's the god. The god is afraid that you will die, so he is boiling rice and making steamed buns. Do you know steamed buns? The steamed buns used in Shaanxi Province's roujiamo!"
Dongqiang suddenly realized: "Oh, give me the staple food?"
"Of course. How can we eat this without staple food? When the time comes, you sing this Italian song and I will sing a song about the northern bear to compete with you."
“You also studied the songs of northern woolly bears?”
Qi Long suppressed his throat and played his tongue to sing a song of the Northern Hairy Bear, which was translated into Chinese as follows:
[Buy four radishes, cut them, chop them, add four pieces of tofu, and slurp them. If there are no peppercorns or star anise, add a little vinegar. If it’s not too sour, just drink it! ]
Anyway, it is a transliteration, which means it sounds like this sound, but in fact there is still a big difference.
"What nonsense! You call this learning a foreign language?"
Seeing that Italian and Russian failed to impress Dong Qiang, Qi Long decided to use his own unique skills.
"Do you know that I have a good brother? Zhang Yixing, that's my good brother. He taught me the southern Korean language. Let's do this. Qi Long taught me one sentence at a time using Chinese transliteration. The two of us performed a situational drama."
Dongqiang came over: "Dad!"
"What are you doing? Um, why is the tablecloth yellow?"
"Tablecloth?"
"Ashi vomited?"
"I do not know!"
"Drinking beer? Huh?"
"Just a little drink!"
"Ashi vomits all night long when he drinks beer. Who drinks Ashi? Only you?"
"Only me!"
"Hurry up and wash the tablecloth with bleach. You can't go to bed until you finish washing it. Do you hear me?"
The two of them spoke this paragraph in Korean, especially "洗不完", which was directly pronounced as "xiba".
At this point, Dongqiang spoke in real South Korean, and the series of smecta confused Qilong.
"How about we speak Chinese?" Qi Long scratched his head.
Dong Qiang threw his hands up: "Go to hell!"
The work of learning a foreign language is not very funny when written down. I think it is quite good. I recommend you to watch the segment "Learning Korean" by Zhang Helun and Lang Heyan (or Yang Jiulang). It is very interesting.
(End of this chapter)
