Chapter 155 Annual Meeting
When Qi Long and others were having dinner together, for many crosstalk commentary bloggers, it was a night of staying up late and working overtime.
They wait for the videos recorded by the audience to be uploaded, watched, and commented on, rushing to post them to gain more attention and traffic.
The satire in Qi Long's crosstalk was naturally highlighted, including the mockery of "bride price" and "open your eyes to see the world", as well as the satire on some magazines that always praised foreign magazines. Many bloggers posted the original clips.
It also elaborated: "Qi Long said that his work, which was full of loopholes, was almost approved, which was a huge irony. It satirized those magazines that didn't care whether it was true or false, and didn't care about logical errors and low-level mistakes. As long as you praised the group they wanted you to praise, you could get published in the magazine."
When the satire was at its peak, some netizens praised it: "This is crosstalk, crosstalk should be an art of satire!"
Actually, as a crosstalk performer, Qi Long does not agree with this statement. Crosstalk is a language art that includes satire, not just sarcasm. It is an inclusive relationship. It’s just that the skill of satire has been lost by some crosstalk performers.
All Qi Long did was to show these things. Starting from "Thieves Company", he got the idea and found that there were still many things that could be satirized.
It can be used to satirize foreign shepherds, hence the jokes such as "Warfare with Foreigners" and "I am a Runner".
It is said that when Runren was changed in "Touqi Xianzi" before, the Runren group was upset and cursed Qi Long on the Internet. They are living a good life.
There was a person from Run who said that he earned 10,000 Dadaole in three days through hard work. Qi Long was a pink who knew nothing and was talking nonsense.
However, afterwards, the resourceful netizens dug deeper and found out that what the guy said was true. He really made 10,000 Dadaole in just three days.
But the way to make money is to do physical experiments, to put it bluntly, it means being a guinea pig.
For example, when scurvy was rampant during the Age of Discovery, a doctor, in order to find a way to control scurvy, found some sailors with scurvy and conducted a control experiment. The first group ate citrus fruits, the second group drank cider, and the third group drank diluted sulfuric acid or something.
Finally, after the experiment, the scurvy of the first group of people improved, and everyone knew that citrus fruits can cure scurvy.
But you don’t know what works before you participate in the experiment. What if you are assigned to the group that drinks diluted sulfuric acid, wouldn’t you be dead?
Moreover, the experiment was conducted on patients who were already ill and dying, but this person went there without any problems, and he was a normal person, but after a few days, his face was covered with pockmarks.
There were also people from Run who mocked Qi Long for knowing nothing, saying that treatment abroad was too expensive for illegal immigrants. He was seriously ill now, and the hospital had placed him in a spacious room without asking him for a penny.
The resourceful netizens dug deeper and found out that he was an illegal resident with no money, so the hospital left him in a place where he was waiting to die.
Sure enough, before the year was over, this Runren came to the end of his life. In his last social media post, he still spared no effort to criticize Qi Long's crosstalk nonsense.
This miraculous experience of Runren does not end here. His ashes were placed in a warehouse by his friend who was also a Runren. As a result, they encountered a special zero-dollar purchase abroad, and the whereabouts of the urn is still unknown.
I can only say that sometimes, reality is more dramatic and funnier than crosstalk (real events).
These Run people were psychologically unbalanced in their own country, but once they arrived abroad, they became models of hard work and perseverance. Even if they had to work twelve hours a day or clean toilets everywhere, they still said they were happy. It can only be said that the duck is cooked and the mouth is hard!
These follow-ups also brought a lot of joy to everyone.
Of course, when surfing Weibo, there are also some people who are keen on commenting on current affairs. Whenever a man commits a crime, they say that all men are bad, and when a woman commits a crime, she must have encountered some difficulties, because Qi Long and Dong Qiang’s crosstalk criticizes them.
But the number is not large, because Qi Long does not have a Weibo account. Once Dong Qiang finds out that someone is attacking him on Weibo, he will spend money to hire internet trolls to post top comments, making it impossible for you to make any waves.
This results in boxers throwing punches and looking around in confusion, with nothing they can do.
After the closing ceremony, Wanerda Group also held its annual meeting. Qi Long and Dong Qiang were the two most prestigious artists in Wanerda. Although they were not required to perform on stage, they still went on stage and gave a speech, allowing the company's employees to listen to a free crosstalk.
The two of them didn't just come because the crosstalk was free. They put in a lot of effort in their performance and made up a story about Dongqiang's childhood.
It is said that Dongqiang was very good at learning from experience when he was a child. When he was riding in a car, he asked his father, "Cars obviously burn oil, so why are they called cars?"
"Look, we are so curious!"
"His father told him that after the steam age, cars were powered by steam, and they were called automobiles at that time, so some cars also burned gas! Dongqiang understood it immediately, and two days later he took me to say that he would treat me to bread. He smashed a van? His father beat him up, but he still argued that what was burning in the van was bread!"
"The kid doesn't understand!"
"His father was not angry. He thought my son had a good ability to think critically, so he did not criticize him but praised him. However, a few days later, he went and smashed the plane!"
"what?"
"I want to eat roast chicken!" "Hi!"
It is also said that Dongqiang was afraid of insects when he was a child. Qi Long remembers it very clearly. When he was nine years old, he and Dongqiang were playing in the backyard of their villa. They encountered a cockroach. Dongqiang was so scared that he peed on the spot. Fortunately, he was wearing open-crotch pants.
"I'm nine years old and still wearing open-crotch pants?"
"At home, you wore your crotchless pants as pajamas! Speaking of this cockroach, when I saw you were so scared, I had to protect my brother, so I caught the cockroach and decided to burn it at the stake and execute it immediately!"
The two brothers lit a fire and started burning the cockroaches.
"I just wanted to tease Dongqiang. I said, 'Dongqiang, do you think a cockroach ancestor will come and ask us which one of you burned the house?' At that moment, his father opened the back door of the villa and angrily scolded us, 'Which one of you burned the house?' Dongqiang was so scared that he peed on his father's face."
"I have to kill all those cockroach ancestors!" Dongqiang nodded seriously.
The employees burst into laughter and applauded at the annual meeting.
This crosstalk actually has a name, which is Dongqiang Elementary School Student's Diary, but it is still in its initial stage and is not complete. It is just a piece of small stories. Some of the stories are real things that happened to the two of them when they were children, and some are just simple jokes.
For example, Dongqiang is always picked up by his family because his family is rich. He feels psychologically unbalanced and insists that his father buy a bicycle to pick him up like other parents.
"Well, other people always compare themselves to others, but I compare myself to others less than them!"
"You want to fit in with everyone. Unfortunately, you've never ridden a bicycle before. Your family is too rich. Once you get on a bicycle, your legs will get stuck in the wheels."
"Ouch!"
"Your father is pedaling in front of you. Hey, why can't you pedal?"
"Nonsense, my feet are in there!"
"You quickly shouted: Dad, stop pedaling! Then you saw your dad stand up from the front seat and start pedaling. It's okay, Dad is strong enough!"
"Okay."
Their family was very rich and bought a water purifier. At that time, many families had ordinary water dispensers, but theirs had a high-end filtering one. They put tap water in and it was filtered through activated carbon beans to become clean water.
Dongqiang’s father explained to Dongqiang the principle of this thing, which is just like the kidneys, filtering out dirt.
Dongqiang understood that when everyone went out to play together, they wanted to drink water when they were thirsty, but Dongqiang refused to drink bottled water. He wanted to drink filtered water.
"Every time we finish drinking, we pee into the bottle a while later, and he holds the bottle."
The basis of this crosstalk is to praise the house. After talking about Dongqiang's unique life as a child, it praises how magnificent their house is. This long section of crosstalk performance also made everyone applaud.
Each joke, told by Qi Long and Dong Qiang, was a blast and made the company's employees very happy.
Of course, what made people happy was not only the great performance, but also the rewards after the performance. Na Yu spent a lot of money to buy various gifts, ranging from three to five hundred to several thousand. Everyone got a gift.
And Qi Long, among the vast number of notes, won a special prize!
Just when he thought his luck had turned, he opened the note and saw a line of words written on it: The envious eyes of everyone in the audience.
The way to redeem the prize is that everyone in the audience looks at him with envy for ten seconds.
Qi Long pretended to be angry and threw the note into the trash can: "What the hell is this prize?"
Runren's story is true, I was so happy watching it
(End of this chapter)
