Chapter 137: Well-received and popular!
After the stick man retreated, the dwarf came up and scared Qi Long at once.
Dongqiang was puzzled: "Why are you scared?"
Qi Long lowered his head and looked at the ground: "He kowtowed to me, and I quickly moved away. I don't accept disciples, so why did he kowtow to me? I looked at him and thought, oh, he is bowing?"
"So short!"
"I wonder what's wrong with this guy. Come up and bow to me. Be careful when dealing with him! He started to speak:"
"How to say?"
"After you Chinese have eaten the meat of lobsters, what do you do with the shells?" Qi Long said, looking up at the sky.
Dong Qiang said, "Of course it fell down."
"The flax must be destroyed! Yiga yiga yiga ah in our island country, ah, it won't be thrown away, it will be sent to the factory to be made into shrimp cakes and sold to you Chinese, hehe!"
"Made of shrimp shells?" Dongqiang was surprised.
Qi Long lowered his head: "Have you eaten it?"
"No, whoever wants to eat can eat it, I eat meat!"
"The Japanese man saw that I didn't reply and started talking again. Ah, what do you do with the lemon peels after you eat them?"
"Of course it was lost!"
"Beat the flax! Beat it! Yika ka ka ka!"
"What's wrong with you?"
"In our island country, we don't throw it away. We send it to factories to make juice and sell it to you in China!"
"Are you crazy? Who drinks imported juice?"
"If you don't drink it, someone else will. I don't even bother to pay attention to him. He chewed gum: In your China, how do you deal with leftover gum?"
"Of course I spit it out!"
"Ya" Qi Long was about to say, but was stopped by Dong Qiang: "Don't make such a fuss, just tell him how he will handle it."
"He said that in our island country, we send all the chewing gum we have eaten to the factory, which makes it into condoms and sells them to China. That's when I spoke up!"
"You finally spoke!"
"I say." Qi Long lowered his head and looked down: "In China, used condoms are made into chewing gum and sold to your island country!"
It was so hilarious, it was just like a cool novel. The first few Qi Longs didn't fight back, allowing that person to take advantage of them. Everyone was waiting for the moment to be slapped in the face. At this time, the foreshadowing was enough, and a joke was thrown out directly, and it exploded immediately!
"Good!" The audience laughed and cheered loudly.
The inspiration for this crosstalk came from the fact that Dongqiang accidentally connected to a black man during a live broadcast online, and Qilong fought back against him with a song, which then became a hot topic.
Afterwards, they criticized France for surrendering quickly, criticized Germany for legalizing hazardous substances, and criticized foreign countries for not banning guns, saying it was unsafe at night.
In China, the most unsafe thing at night is all kinds of snacks, which can easily make you overeat and make you unable to sleep due to anxiety about gaining weight; abroad, the most unsafe thing at night is all kinds of thugs, which can easily make you free from anxiety and sleep forever.
If you hear the noise in China, you would think it is firecrackers and go over to watch the fun; but if you hear it abroad, if you dare to get close, you might get shot.
After saying a lot of things to criticize those foreigners who looked down on China, Qi Long sighed and said, "It's a pity that I lost!"
"Ah?" Dong Qiang didn't understand, and neither did the audience. He, as the audience's mouthpiece, asked, "You still lose?"
"I lost and couldn't win the argument with them!"
"Aren't you a crosstalk performer? Do you make a living by talking?"
"That's nothing I can do. They insist on talking to me about a topic!"
"What topic?"
"Men's football!"
"Go to hell!"
At this point, the crosstalk ended, and the two men bowed and left the stage amid laughter.
To be honest, I have thought about this a lot. Patriotism cannot be blind. People have advantages and disadvantages, and so do countries. For example, China has fewer holidays.
But Qi Long thought about it and felt that it would be best to use the men's football team to leave people speechless. After all, this is their traditional skill, mocking the men's football team!
It was really good, and the audience had a hilarious discussion.
The men's football team in the crosstalk by Qi Long and Dong Qiang is late but has arrived!
When they arrived at the side stage, everyone greeted Qi Long and Dong Qiang. The two found Liu Chunshan and started performing group crosstalk together. The group crosstalk they performed was called "King Kong Legs", which is also a traditional performance.
The reason for choosing this crosstalk is that it can be long or short.
Today’s crosstalk show is different from previous ones. In the past, it would be over once it was over, but today it must be performed until twelve o’clock, so that we can connect via video with the other four theaters on time and celebrate the New Year together.
This means that we have to be more strict with time today. Although it’s not as accurate to the second as the Spring Festival Gala, it can’t be too far off.
The last show is over and there is still half an hour left. We can’t let the audience wait for half an hour, right?
It's already twelve o'clock and the last show hasn't started yet. We can't let the other four theaters wait for them to finish, right?
Therefore, controlling time is the job of the team leader of each session.
Qi Long roughly determined the time required for each program. When he started to control the sixth activity, "King Kong Legs", if there was a lot of time left, he would say more jokes, otherwise he would say fewer jokes and finish the activity quickly.
It also reduces the pressure on Liu Chunshan, Liu Jiji, who are the second to last, and myself, who is the last, to control time.
The fourth and fifth shows are performed by Qin Xiaoxian, Sun Jiuxiang, Shang Jiuxi, and He Jiuhua.
These four are all pretty good. Qin Xiaoxian's "The Sheep Climbing the Tree" was directed by Qi Long himself, and he performed very well, which did not let the audience cool down.
After Qi Long reminded Guo Degang, Guo Degang taught Shang Jiuxi and He Jiuhua special lessons. Now Shang Jiuxi no longer makes random jokes, and even if his partner doesn't understand a joke, he won't look down on his partner. He Jiuhua also doesn't respond and keeps talking about his own things.
The two of them worked well together and kept the atmosphere lively.
It's about the time. Because the scene was so lively, both groups of actors said some extra words to cushion the conversation.
So in the sixth scene, the group crosstalk, "King Kong Legs" by Qi Long, Dong Qiang and Liu Chunshan, the three of them performed it properly, but added some jokes that were different from those of other actors.
This "Vajra Legs" counts one hundred and twenty-eight legs and talks about a mountain with a four-legged animal. Then among the temple on the mountain, the gods in the temple, the trees outside the temple, the birds on the trees, the fruit in the bird's mouth, and so on, there must be an object with that four-legged animal.
Because of Qi Long's name, Dong Qiang mentioned Qi Long several times on the stage when he responded to the one hundred and twenty-eight legs with "dragon".
"Is there any temple on the mountain?" Liu Chunshan asked.
"The temple of the Dragon King!" Dong Qiang replied.
Qi Long nodded at the side: "Lord Dragon, this has a dragon and this kind of temple!"
"By the way, what god is worshipped in the temple?" Liu Chunshan continued to ask.
Gao Dongqiang opened his mouth and said: "Qi Long!"
Hearing this, Qi Long immediately nodded: "The right temple and the right god!"
"What's the right temple and right god? Is it appropriate to worship Qi Long in the Dragon King's temple?"
What house did they say they were going to? Dong Qiang said, "Let's go to Qi Long's house!"
"Who opened the door?" "The deaf man opened the door!"
Qi Long lifted his partner up from the side: "Deaf man, there is a dragon!"
"Wait a minute, can a deaf person hear someone knocking on the door?" Liu Chunshan interrupted their interaction.
Dong Qiang explained: "He is not really deaf, he was deafened by the thunder. Now he is a little better. Long Long Long Deaf!"
It was originally a joke from the same show, and everyone understood it. They knew it was an impromptu joke, so they all applauded.
Ouch, this crosstalk also has a drama series?
This job is not bad, and it ends smoothly. It doesn't have a hilarious effect, but it's not irritating to listen to and everyone enjoys listening to it.
This scene also bought a lot of time for the follow-up. The third from the bottom was the deconstruction of crosstalk art by Jin Henan and Zhu Hecong, and the second from the bottom was the traditional piece "Eight Auspicious Things" by Liu Chunshan and Liu Jiji.
As the finale, Qi Long and Dong Qiang ended with a quick-talking piece: "Su Lai Bao"!
This is what everyone is looking forward to, their skills are their specialty.
And it is also easy to control the time. If you sing two more industries, the time will be longer, and if you sing two fewer industries, the time will be shorter.
There wasn't much time left, mainly because Zhu Hecong was too noisy, so there was no need for Qi Long to be introduced right at the start, as he had already been introduced before, so he just got right into the action and could speak by clapping his hands.
"I know that. He was called Sulaibao in the past, a beggar!" Gao Dongqiang waved his hand.
Qi Long was unhappy: "Those who count the treasures don't want food."
"Ok?"
"Want money!"
"Isn't this different?"
"It's different. It's not easy for us to sing Shulaibao. We need to be quick with our hands, our heart and our mouth. We can sing whatever we see. We can sing for ten miles in the street. We can sing from all walks of life. We can make up songs and sing them at the same time. Even beggars can sing from the past. We can do good deeds and people may not pay us. But when singing Shulaibao, you have to pay after you finish singing!"
Dong Qiang snorted coldly: "Huh? That's because he didn't meet me. If he met me, I wouldn't give it to him!"
“You have to listen to how people sing!”
"I won't listen at all!"
“Great words!”
"Okay, I won't give you any money either!"
"But everyone else gave it!" Qi Long said aggrievedly.
"I won't give it to you!" Dong Qiang shouted like a troublemaker.
"Ask your aunt to give it to me," Qi Long's voice became smaller and he said uncertainly, "If not, your aunt can be given to me!"
His embarrassed expression and somewhat unwilling tone made the audience laugh. You still want someone's aunt? What are you thinking about?
"Is that reasonable? You still want my aunt, why don't you want my aunt?"
Qi Long looked embarrassed, then as if he had made up his mind, he turned around and said, "It's not impossible."
"Go away, I mean I don't want to pay."
"You'll give it to me after I finish singing!"
"I won't give it to you even if you finish singing. Let me tell you, do you know my nickname?"
"What nickname?"
"Porcelain rooster, iron crane (pronounced hao), glass mouse, glazed cat, I won't give a penny!"
"I also have a nickname, it's called Hammer, and I'm going to hit you. You'll give it to me after I finish singing!"
At this point, the two people are at odds. Qi Long wants money, and Dong Qiang wants to keep his money. The audience will be curious about how Qi Long will ask for money and how Dong Qiang will respond.
Dongqiang started to perform the storytelling. He said, "Well, now that we are in Shanxi Province, people here don't eat machine-made noodles, they eat handmade noodles. I'll open a noodle shop and you can sing for me!"
"It's so simple, just listen to it:"
[I am being hit with a bamboo board. I am taking big steps. The shopkeeper runs a coffin shop. Your coffin is really good. One end is big and the other end is small. A dead person cannot escape if put in it, a living person cannot bear it, and a sick person cannot get better if put in it.]
"Wait a minute, why is this a coffin shop?"
Qi Long stopped beating the board and asked: "Aren't you running a coffin shop?"
“I run a noodle shop!”
"The coffin is ready!" Qi Long recommended.
Dong Qiang shook his head: "I'll just open a noodle shop!"
"Don't bother me!"
"Don't worry, it's a noodle shop!"
"I know the word for coffin shop!"
"You are familiar with me, so I can make do with you. If you can sing, then sing. If you can't, then leave."
"I can sing."
[Beat the bamboo board, take a big step, see a noodle shop, a noodle shop, selling noodles, the one selling noodles is a noodle shop, a noodle shop, selling noodles.]
"Just reply, why do you want people to pay for this? If not, just leave."
"Okay!" Qi Long's eyes lit up and he started to play the clappers:
[Beat with a bamboo clapper, take a big step, the shopkeeper opened a noodle shop, your noodles are really good, one end is big, the other end is small, if you eat it, the dead will not be able to escape, the living will not be able to bear it, and the sick will not be able to get better after eating it]
"This is a coffin, not a slice of meat!" Dongqiang said again.
"I have a word!" Qi Long slammed the table.
"So that's what you were thinking about just now?"
[The bamboo clapper hits me, I look up and see the shopkeeper is selling sliced noodles. If we want to talk about noodles, let’s just say noodles. Mix them, add an egg, roll them out, a big slice, cut them into a line, put them in the pot and spin them around. When I scoop them out into a bowl, they are lotus petals. They are delicious and beautiful. One person eats half a catty, and three people eat a catty and a half! ]
This time it was a serious speech, and Dongqiang nodded with satisfaction as he listened.
At this time, Qi Long's last two sentences were heard: [Master, calculate, how much noodles can a hundred people eat? If you can't calculate, you bastard, you bastard! ]
"You bastard!" Dongqiang's smile suddenly disappeared and he turned around and shouted.
There were bursts of laughter from the audience. They have become successful and the audience loves them both. In the past, when they performed these traditional jokes, they were well received but not popular. Now that they are famous, they can keep their jobs.
It was both well received and popular!
(End of this chapter)
