At night, Chu Fang tossed and turned, unable to sleep, filled with worry, anxiety, and a mix of complex emotions.
He empathized deeply with Chang Shen's feelings.
He was a survivor who had returned from the abyss.
He had contemplated death countless times, his heart so empty that even the universe couldn't fill it.
He had wished he could just end it all.
If he hadn't thought of his mother's despairing face, he might have already left this world.
Thankfully, he eventually met Zhong Tingyue, who filled the void in his heart. Chang Shen's mental illness was more severe and complex than his own.
"Sigh!" Chu Fang sighed, gazing at the moonlight. "What should I do?"
He fell into a fitful sleep, only to suddenly wake up and see Chang Shen sitting by the French window, holding a kitchen knife, its blade glinting in the light.
Chu Fang instantly sobered up: "What are you doing sitting here in the middle of the night? You're not going to kill me, are you?"
Chang Shen replied calmly: "Maybe."
BYD, how can you say 'maybe'?
Can't you have some respect for life?
Chang Shen turned around: "Want to eat an apple?"
Chu Fang: "... Are you sick in the head?"
Chang Shen shrugged: "Actually, I am."
This made Chu Fang fully alert, and he sat up. The moonlight shone on them both.
"Have you really thought this through?" He didn't know how to break the awkward atmosphere, so he repeated the question.
"Yes," Chang Shen said softly. "Actually, you don't need to be like this. In eighty years at most, we'll meet again."
Chu Fang's voice was hoarse: "Is there no other solution? Does it really have to come to this? Don't you have any attachment to this world?"
Chang Shen shook his head.
Chu Fang's expression turned serious: "No, I can't watch you leave. I'm going to stay here and watch over you. You can't go without my permission."
Chang Shen remained silent.
Chu Fang calmed himself and said: "Do you want to know what it feels like to be with Zhong Tingyue?"
"No."
He smacked his forehead: "Right, have you slept with any women?"
A smile appeared on Chang Shen's face: "You want to know?"
"Yes."
"Should I tell you about it?"
Chu Fang's spirits lifted: "Tell me in detail."
Chang Shen said: "Actually, there's not much to say. When I was abroad, there were too many choices, too many temptations, too many... open-minded girls. I did a lot of unspeakable things."
"During that time, I was obsessed with it. I thought I had gotten rid of my illness, but that was just an illusion. It made my condition worse."
Then, Chang Shen talked about his study abroad experience, the chaotic circles...
After listening, Chu Fang nodded, confirming his view of the study abroad circles.
Under the moonlight, the two sat and chatted until dawn.
Chu Fang woke up and suddenly sat up, seeing Chang Shen reading a book. He patted his chest: "Damn! I thought you were gone. Glad you're still alive."
"I won't leave until I finish what I need to do," Chang Shen said. "There's milk and bread in the fridge, help yourself."
"I don't eat that stuff," Chu Fang went into the kitchen to search for usable ingredients.
But unfortunately, Chang Shen didn't have much demand for food, or rather, he didn't have much attachment to this world. He ate very plainly: bread, lettuce, carrots, and salad dressing, the most classic white-person meal, just to sustain his life.
Eating it felt like the sky was falling.
Helpless, Chu Fang had to order takeout: "You want some?"
"No."
"No, you have to eat." Chu Fang ordered two servings of claypot rice. "I'm not discussing this with you, I'm telling you."
Soon, the takeout arrived. The deliveryman was a middle-aged man in his forties. Today, the temperature in Shanghai was thirty-six degrees, and the middle-aged man's head was covered in sweat.
Chu Fang took a bottle of mineral water and handed it to the middle-aged man, who accepted it and bowed in thanks.
"Hey, don't rush off," Chu Fang called out to the middle-aged man, who was about to leave.
"Handsome, is there something wrong? I'm in a hurry to deliver orders."
"No need to rush, I'll pay for the overtime." Chu Fang welcomed the middle-aged man into the house, and then said, "Brother, you should be married."
"I have two daughters." A bright smile appeared on the middle-aged man's face.
"It must be hard, have you ever thought about suicide?"
"Ah?" The middle-aged man was stunned, but quickly reacted, "It's not hard, how could I think about suicide? If I died, how would my wife and two daughters live?"
Chu Fang got the answer he wanted. He opened the tip page on the takeout app and showed it to the middle-aged man: "Brother, you can tip as much as you want, my bank account balance should be enough to pay."
"Ah?" The middle-aged man was stunned again.
You can tip yourself?
If I tip tens of billions, can you pay it?
In the end, the middle-aged man entered the number '66' yuan, and then said with a smile: "Little brother, although I don't know why you're asking these questions, I sincerely hope you live happily. There are many things in this world worth fighting for."
"Enjoy your meal."
After speaking, the middle-aged man bowed and left the house.
The middle-aged man hurried downstairs to deliver the next order. He opened the app interface and was surprised to see that a customer had tipped '66666' yuan.
There was also a note: Brother, I wish you a happy life and be happy every day.
The middle-aged man immediately looked up at the building, he knew that it was the little brother who had just tipped him.
He had seen many rich people while delivering takeout, but this was the first time someone had tipped him so much.
He said softly: "Thank you."
The middle-aged man was delighted by this large sum of money, but he still carried the takeout to deliver the next order, without changing his pace.
However, he sent a message to his wife, saying that today's income made her very happy and asked him to come home early and make him something delicious.
... ...
Chu Fang ate the claypot rice: "That brother isn't any less tired than you, why does he still not have the idea of dying?"
"It's different," Chang Shen said. "That brother has a wife, daughters, a family, and all the best things in this world. Even if he's tired, he's happy and has the urge to fight. But me..."
Speaking up to here, Chang Shen stopped talking.
In his eyes, there was nothing worth pursuing in this world, it was all gray.
"Am I your friend?"
"Yes," Chang Shen replied, but before Chu Fang could ask, he continued, "I'm very happy to have met you, but... I'm sorry."
The delicious claypot rice suddenly lost its flavor.
Chu Fang didn't dwell on this question.
After eating breakfast, Chang Shen went to the cosmetic surgery hospital to resign and end his job.
Arriving at the dean's office, he handed in his resignation letter to the dean.
"Resignation? Is the work not going well? Is the salary not high? Or is the working environment not good?" The dean asked. "We can discuss it."
Chang Shen had a good aesthetic sense and excellent skills. His clients came from all over the world and were wealthy people. He was the cosmetic surgery hospital's star doctor.
"No," Chang Shen replied.
Despite the dean's repeated persuasion and high salary offers, he remained unmoved and ended his job.
"Aren't you tempted by so much money? I'm tempted," Chu Fang said from the side.
"Are you short of that little bit of money?" Chang Shen glanced at him.
"Yes!" Chu Fang said. "You don't love money, but I love money. How about this, you do the work, I get the reward, we both benefit, it's a win-win!"
Hearing that Chang Shen was leaving, many nurses at the cosmetic surgery hospital were reluctant to let him go, and the most emotional were the cosmetic surgery clients.
They had spent so much effort and money, and waited in line for so long, but the attending doctor was actually resigning.
Who could accept this?
A group of cosmetic surgery women crowded around Chang Shen:
"Dr. Chang, please do my surgery first."
"Where are you going next? I'll follow you."
"... ..."
